The Kronkfic

Chapter Four, Part Two

you get home and decide to give kronk a call. he is your favorite person, of course. you dial the number on your my little pony rotary dial phone.

"kronk!" you say into the phone.

kronk licks his teeth, you can hear the mouth sounds though the phone. "why didn't you tell me you had a baby mama?" he asks, casually.

"i don't know, yeet," you say. "why?"

kronk licks his teeth some more, for about thirty-two seconds, then says, "i gotta go" and hangs up.

all you can think about for the next hour is how sweet it was for kronk to ask you.

you paint your nails the color "rusty dusty earwax" and listen to harry styles and shakira sing rudolph the red-nosed reindeer on the radio.

"according to recent reports, romana gonzales has passed away from accidentally falling down the stairs. her two-year-old son was not harmed," the radio announces.

suddenly, you get flashbacks to the summer you and romana were best friends. you used to make fun of vegans together, because you loved meat so much, and because you just really hated vegans.

hearing about the death of your former best friend makes you really shooketh. you look over at the clock and sigh. it's two-forty, you'd better get to your clown appointment.

you hop in your whip and drive to the hospital. it's been a hot sec since you've been to one of these bad boys, hospitals are expensive and you live on your own with no income, so theoretically you should be broke. luckily, kronk is such a sweet guy, he became your sugar daddy just so that you didn't have to get a job.

"step this way, y/n," the doctor says, motioning towards the back. you get bernetta flashbacks and you're really triggered.

the clown surgery goes as planned. you end up looking like a clown, which is what you expected to happen.

"how often do you do this type of thing?" you ask your surgeon, winking.

"never," he responds. "you're the only one stupid enough to do this."

"aw, thanks," you say, rubbing your wenis.

all of a sudden, kronk steps in. "hey, y/n! sorry, did i interrupt something?" he asks, looking at the surgeon.

he is so sweet, asking if he interrupted anything.

"i love you, kronk," you say, kissing him right on the lips. he kisses back, and soon you're making out on a surgery table.

the surgeon leaves, and it's just you and kronk now.

"i can't believe you turned yourself into a clown," kronk says, flabbergasted.

"of course i did," you say. "i love you."

"i love you more than anything in the whole wide world," kronk says. "even spinach puffs."

you tear up a bit, and soon there are tears flowing down your face.

"i'm going to divorce miss birdwell," kronk says. "i'll meet you at nine at the bar."

"really?" you ask. "you would divorce her for me?"

"hell yes," kronk says. "i mean, look at you. miss birdwell isn't a clown."

you smile at him. "i love you more than life itself, kronk," you say.

"you promise?" kronk asks, skeptical.

you nod, not even thinking about it. you love kronk so much.

"i'll see you later," kronk says. "i love you."

"i love you too," you say, watching as kronk walks away.

on the drive home, you think about romana. maybe it wasn't very bucket-filling of you to never meet your son. but, then again, you didn't really care. you beat your meat the rest of the way home with four spoons and a rotisserie chicken.

you get home and your my little pony rotary dial phone is ringing. you pick it up.

"y/n. can you meet at eight, back at panera?" bernetta asks.

"sure," you say. that's only an hour before you have to meet kronk. hopefully bernetta can make it quick.

"okay," bernetta says. "remember, don't tell anyone."

you nod, even though there's no way she can see you, unless she's got cameras on you at all times.

bernetta hangs up. you have about an hour and a half before you have to be anywhere, so you spend it like any person would. sitting on your bed and staring at the wall.