Umberto X Winifred

Late

Umberto woke up 30 minutes late to school, he immediately got up and deepthroated a poptart. When he opened his door, he was greeted with a familiar face. He took a moment to not at all obviously point out his features to the reader. His hair was jet black, and in a cone shaped spike on top of his head. It kind of reminded him of Patrick Star. He had a muscular build, as all yaoi characters do, and his tight shirt showed off his abs in a totally non-obviously-sexual way. His ears were turning infectious from the googly eyes he stapled to his ears (secretly, just for Umberto.) His dark eyes were red, probably because he was high. When Umberto snapped out of his day dream, he was in the hospital with a doctor shining a light in his eye, the doctor didn't say anything and just left, as yaoi doctors do. "You were staring at me for almost 2 hours and I thought you died so I called an ambulance. I know I'm hot, but I didn't know I was that hot." Umberto was surprised that a bad boy, such as Winifred, could even have a caring side. It may have just been because Umberto was high too, but he felt a sudden attraction toward him. He also noticed Winifred's eyes were purple for a second, but he just assumed it was the molly. They walked straight out of the hospital and no one stopped them. "I brought my motorcycle, because I'm a bad boy." Winifred explained. "We can still make it to lunch if we go fast enough." He winked and got on the motorcycle. Umberto stared at him with a blank expression. "Well are you gonna get on or not?" Umberto was ecstatic to ride on a motorcycle with a guy he literally met about 12 hours ago. As soon as he got on the motorcycle he wrapped his arms around his waist and they started driving really fast and somehow didn't run into anyone or anything. We will now take this time to explain what Umberto looks like because it's kind of difficult to work that in anywhere else. Umberto's bright red hair wasn't blowing in the wind because he slicked it back so heavily with hair jel it was crunchier than an old woman's toe nail. He wore suspenders because he's a nerd of course, and also thick framed glasses. His mother named him Umberto because she was so high when she had him that she thought he was an umbrella. By the time they arrived at the school, Umberto fell asleep on the motorcycle and almost fell off 7 times. Winifred carried him into the lunch room and smashed through the door "KACHOW!"
Winifred screamed really loudly. Everyone in the lunch room looked at him because he's the hottest most baddest boy in school of course. All the girls were jealous that he was carrying that big nerd Umberto. Winifred woke up when Umberto and threw him on a lunch table. He then sat with his friends that have no names and are just used as plot devices. Oparitonion walked up to Umberto. "So are you a...HOMOSEXUAL?." Umberto didn't say anything because he's a big nerd and he can't stand up for himself. Winifred who abandoned Umberto for no reason, angrily walked up to Oparitonion and punched him in the face. Umberto, half asleep, really high, and blinded by Winifred's charming superpowers, fainted.