Umberto X Winifred

EPIC BATTLE

Umberto was shocked. He wondered how long Winifred had been waiting to reveal his true communist self. "You can not resist me, comrade, I am too charming for your puny mind." Winifred sneered. "Is your real name even Winifred?!" Umberto cried out. "No.............................................................................................................................................................................................it is...........................................................................................................................................................................................VIKTOR 👏👏!" Winifred, well, VIKTOR screamed. "How could you even do this, VIKTOR?" Umberto was shook. "This doesn't matter now." VIKTOR inched toward Umberto. Literally inched. It took him an hour and a half to get close to him. VIKTOR was so close to Umberto that their noses were almost touching. "You can not resist me, Umberto." VIKTOR's eyes turned purple but Umberto didn't flinch. "Yes.....I can." Umberto choked out. He took of his glasses and gave VIKTOR. A death stare. "Fine. Have it your way." VIKTOR suddenly, out of nowhere, made out with Umberto. Umberto was coming down from his mega meth high, so he was kind of confused at the moment. Umberto took VIKTOR's shirt off and marveled at his abs that he had already seen like 400 times. VIKTOR took off Umberto's shirt and suspenders. "Eat my ear, Umberto." Umberto thought this was really hot, but he knew it was what VIKTOR wanted so he didn't do it. "Why so slow, comrade?" VIKTOR questioned. "I don't trust you." Umberto admitted. "Well don't." VIKTOR got down on his knees and started to eat Umberto's chocolate milk pants.
He slowly inches down to his crocs, and moved his face up to start eating at the bottom of the pant leg. "Mmmm, chocolate milk pants." He moaned as he came near the knee. The left pant leg now looked like shorts. He started on the right one. Umberto noticed he left a trail of SPIT on his leg. Umberto thought that was hot. VIKTOR licked Umberto's toe through the hole of the crocs and he moaned. VIKTOR inched up Umberto's leg until he got to shorts length. "Are you gonna eat my ear yet or not?" VIKTOR moaned. "Not yet..." Umberto Said sexily. Umberto pulled a razor out of his ear and started shaving VIKTORS head. VIKTOR picked the hairs up off of the ground and stapled them to his ear lobes. Umberto shoved the stapler in VIKTOR's ear, most likely further damaging his brain. Umberto pulled VIKTOR up off of his knees and started to bite his ear. "So you want me...to eat....your ear?" He said, verrrrrrryyyy slowly. "Yes dumbass."
"Don't get angry now." As soon as Umberto bit VIKTOR's ear lobe, he knew something wasn't right. He fell to the ground, paralyzed. "What did you do to me?" He said, weakly, to VIKTOR. His consciousness started fading in and out. "Looks can kill." VIKTOR said with an evil grin on his face. "Farewell, comrade."  Umberto's vision was extremely blurry and VIKTOR's voice was fading.

Umberto closed his eyes, and felt himself inching towards death. "Ha, bitch." Said an outside voice softly, but emotionally in a Russian accent. "Woah you thot." Umberto choked out before he slipped into a void of darkness.