5Reid
At the end of the week, I visited the fertility clinic to have an AEPD test performed. AEPD stood for Advanced Early Pregnancy Detection. The technology for the AEPD test was not publicly available, mainly because the equipment took up an entire room. Having one such test taken was massively expensive because it took much of the guesswork out of having a baby. No longer did a person have to suffer in silence for a month, waiting for a time when a regular pregnancy test would be able to give an accurate answer — if they could afford it.
James insisted. He paid for it.
I provided a blood and urine sample for Dr. Jensen, and he ran the test. I sat in the empty waiting room, watching the clock to make sure I would be able to get home in time to meet Haley as she got off her school bus. I didn't feel nervous. I didn't feel ready. I didn't really feel much of anything.
The result of my test came back negative.
I called James while heading home to let him know the news, and he said he would schedule another appointment. I received the details later that night, and met James at the clinic a few days later to go through the procedure again.
After another week, I had another test.
Negative again.
"I am going to make this happen," James growled in my ear. The sensual roughness of his voice coming through the phone made me short of breath. I swallowed hard, placing my hand on my lap.
My fingers curled, pressing against the front of my jeans. My dick strained against the thick fabric, distracting me from my driving so much that I nearly missed my exit. Snatching at the wheel and slamming on my brakes, causing the cars behind me to hit theirs and beep indignantly, I managed to make the turn.
"Everything okay over there?" James asked.
The change in his tone startled me. He had gone from demanding and annoyed to concerned in the span of a single breath. This man with a quiet voice and worried words was not the James I knew.
Before I really had a chance to reply, James spoke again, switching back over to his usual commanding voice. "You better not let anything happen to you. I don't have time to go off and find someone else to do this with. The competition is getting heavy."
"I don't care about your competition," I said, feeling tired. Dealing with someone so overbearing all the time was really grating on my nerves. I used to think, during our past relationship, that I slept so well because I was safe, secure, and happy in our love. I knew better now. I'd slept that way because being around him required constant recovery.
Yet, right now, I thought I detected something significant in his voice. It was almost a faint edge, a sharp end to the words he said. I could almost believe that he meant things more sincerely than the way he said them.
"Well, I do," James said. "And that's why we're going to try this again. Third try is the charm. I'll get back to you with the details."
I received a text from him not half an hour later, stating that the appointment was the next day in the afternoon. I sighed, rubbing my face with my hand. It felt like this would never end, and maybe it never would.
If we managed to conceive a child, James would most likely want to keep it so he could remind his doubters and enemies that he had won this contest, this race, fair and square. The baby would be broadcast all over the news, subject to the opinions of the masses. It would never know privacy, or fairness.
I'd watch the baby grow up through a screen, living its life without me. And I knew I would watch, because you didn't give birth to someone without loving them, no matter what.
