PEACH'S & CREAM

10 (PEACH)

Oh, got my hands tied around my back
And time put a rope around my head
And hung from the rafters of my fear
Dark in the eyes
Try and face the world, I can't bear to
My knees hit the ground and my hands start shaking
Old feelings from new faces
A rope on the floor and a poor man hanging

*

*unedited*

Depression is real and very much alive in my body. The lights are dim in the room and I have a slight headache but nothing bad. I have the incision from my cesarean and I have meds for that. I haven't seen the baby yet and all of my family members including my grandparents have left.

A light knock comes from the door and it opens. I look over and see Jax looking tired. Jax comes and sits in the chair beside the bed and looks at me.

"We made a beautiful baby," Jax blurts out.

"I haven't seen him," I reply.

"Do you want to?" Jax asks.

I shrug and look away. I've been by myself for the past three hours and postpartum depression has set in big time. I don't know if I can do this.

"What's wrong? I know depression from a mile away. My mom suffered from it for most of my life," Jax says. "Let me help you if you are suffering. you are not alone."

"Just give me time, Jax," I murmur.

"Okay," he replies.

Jax grabs my hand and squeezes. "Let's get down to business, Peach," Jax says.

I look at Jax. "Go on," I reply.

"Let's get to know each other for the sake of our child and figure out how we are going to do this co-parenting thing," Jax says.

"Well, tell me the basics first and then we can go from there," I reply.

"Well my name is Jax Ivanov and I am the leader of the Russian Mafia. My favorite color is black hence my nails. I'm six foot seven inches, so our son will most likely be tall as well. I live between my parent's mansion and my condo. I'm usually always at the shop. I never bring business home and I never take home to my business. I'm worth just as much as your father without all the businesses. I have some businesses but they're in Russia. I'm worth a pretty penny in Russia," Jax replies. "I'm very picky about my food and other things in life. I have OCD and that's about it."

"You don't seem like the leader of the Russian Mafia," I reply.

"Well, I am," he says with a chuckle. "It's your turn, love."

"Well, you know my name. I love records and I have a ton of them. My room is dark and dreary. I've struggled with my weight all of my life. I love art. I draw and paint when I have the time. I love music. I've never been in a relationship and you are the only person that I have had sex with. I'm very cautious about who I let in my life. Tarin is my only friend and has been since my first day of college. My birthday is on Christmas. My favorite colors are Heather grey and rose gold. I'm severely allergic to seafood. I'm not picky about food and that's it," I reply.

"My birthday is June eighth," Jax replies.

I nod. "Moving on to the parenting thing," I state.

"So you can stay at your house during the week and come over on the weekends? I don't want to rush you or anything. We can do it however you want to," Jax says.

"That's fine with me but after I get out of this hospital, I will be on crutches so I will need all the help I can get and then I will be in a boot. We have nothing for him," I reply.

"I can fix that," Jax says.

"Then do it," I murmur.

"Do you have any names?" Jax asks.

"Makai Kazimir Ivanof."

Jax left to go see the baby a few hours ago. No one has come to see me since earlier. It's boring up here and I have nothing to do. Maybe I can go see the baby. I press the nurse button and a short woman walks in with a smile.

"Yes, miss De Luca," the nurse says.

"I want to see my son," I state.

"Okay, I will help you get there," she says with a smile.

The nurse goes and gets a wheelchair and helps me into it. We slowly make our way to the NICU. I go wash my hands and make my way to where Jax is standing. I lay my head on Jax's arm as I look at the small baby.

"He's so small," I murmur.

"I know, he can fit in my hand," Jax replies.

"He's pale," I blurt out.

"I'm sorry," Jax says as he chuckles.

I put my hand through the small hole and touch his small stomach. "I don't want to go home after this," I blurt out.

"Why?" Jax murmurs.

"My family is distancing themselves from me. It's like they don't see me. I just want to be alone but it's like bustling at all hours there. I just want peace and to be by myself but if I stay with you we have to change your decor, plus, I don't want to walk up the stairs at my house," I reply.

"You can stay with me as long as you want to," Jax says as he puts his arm around me. "Plus, I need to keep you and our baby safe."

"From who? Lucifer?" I ask.

"Yes and everyone who doesn't like me," Jax replies.

"Well, as soon as I get out of here we can do the move in process," I state.

"I only have two rooms so you can stay in my room with me," Jax says.

"That's okay with me," I murmur.

I move my hand away from the baby. His hair is pitch black and his eyes aren't open. He's paler than Jax and that's saying a lot since he's a pale as Edward Cullen.

"Are you going to go back to work after you get released?" Jax asks.

"I don't know," I reply.

"I have enough money saved up to support me and the baby," I reply. "I just don't know if I should."

"Do what you feel is right, Peach. It's your life, not theirs."