(A/N: waaaaaaaaa!!! I know this'll be angst, but... just let me be! This has been in my mind for a long, long time... the fanfic of the first ship I have in the donghua!!!)
Summary:
Since the Lan clan is declining after Lan Wangji married Wei Wuxi...
I'm sorry, Sizhui... because you were forced to marry me... Lan Jingyi lowered his head. He forced a smile as he raised his hand. He looked at the wedding clothes they are wearing. So red, and bright... but my heart is black and dark. He thought as he balled his fists and withdrew his hand. He closed his eyes, forcing for his tears not to fall. I finally married Sizhui, yet... this isn't the wedding I dreamed of. Well... he thought as a tear escaped from his eyes. ... that's why it's just a dream, since Sizhui marrying me... happily... will never ever happen.
More tears fell from his eyes – he's in love with his best friend, yet his best friend isn't in love with him.
Right after the ceremony ended, Lan Jingyi immediately ran away and locked himself in his room – much to everybody's surprise. He leaned on the door, catching his breath. His tears that he has been holding since earlier finally fell like a dam, streaming down his cheeks. He fell on the floor, his hands on his face as his sobs echoed in his empty room. He's crying – both in happiness and pain. I may have Sizhui now, yet the one I want from him will never be mine – his heart. He thought as he hugged his knees and buried his face.
The bright red wedding clothes he is wearing... he should've been proud – yet, this only brings him shame. I love him... secretly... hiding it from him... he thought. I'm such a bad best friend. I love him... I love him. I love him. I love him - ! he buried his face further on his knees, the memory of their first meeting played in his mind.
"Jingyi." A melodious low voice called behind him.
He turned and saw it was Lan Xichen. His face lit up. "Zewu-jun!" he called and ran towards the knees of the man and hugged them.
Lan Xichen chuckled as he patted his head. "Noise is prohibited. And no running in the Cloud Recesses." He reminded the child.
Lan Jingyi pouted. "Yes..." he said.
Lan Xichen just laughed as he took his hand and led him outside. "If uncle would hear you, he'll make you copy the rules – again." he said and looked at the pile of papers on Lan Jingyi's small desk. Lan Qiren already punished the child earlier, that's why Lan Xichen took the child to play after his punishment.
"Where are we going, Zewu-jun?" Lan Jingyi asked and picked up a rabbit he found on the way.
Lan Xichen smiled. "You will have a new playmate." He answered and turned when he saw Lan Wangji in the distance, accompanying a child. His smile went wider as he ushered Lan Jingyi.
"Brother." Lan Wangji called as the four of them meet.
Lan Xichen smiled. "Wangji." He said and looked at Lan Yuan, courtesy name Lan Sizhui. His brother adopted the child that he found in the Yiling. It was the child Wei Wuxian raised. After Wei Wuxian died, Lan Wangji took the child and now he's the one who will raise it. Lan Xichen knows, the child is the only keepsake of his brother from Wei Wuxian. His heart suddenly became heavy, and so he forced a smile. "Jingyi." He called.
"Yes?" Lan Jingyi said, then finally looked at the timid child around his age that's with Lan Wangji.
"He will be your friend from now on." Lan Xichen told him and patted his back. "Wangji, I'll be leaving first." He told him.
"Yes, brother." Lan Wangji answered and stiffly nodded. His back is still aching because of the discipline whips. "A-Yuan." He called at the child. "His name is Jingyi. Jingyi." He called. "This is A-Yuan." He told him.
Lan Jingyi stared at Lan Sizhui. Lan Sizhui shyly raised his head and smiled at him. Lan Jingyi's eyes went wide, then he smiled. He's cute! He thought and grinned. "Hi!" he said. "My name is Lan Jingyi!" he told him. "Nice to meet you, A-Yuan!" he said.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Lan Sizhui held his breath as he stared at Lan Jingyi. The sun is about to rise, yet... the child's smile already lit up the world. "Nice to meet you – " he said and smiled. " – A-Yi." He said.
Even if Lan Jingyi is a bright and outgoing child, yet because he's loud and always gets in trouble the other child of his age is running away from him. Since then, he's been alone until he met Lan Sizhui.
His new playmate is tolerant of him, and so the two of them grew as best friends. As time pass, them calling each other changed and became courteous. He calls him 'Sizhui', while the other calls him 'Jingyi'. However, their closeness never changed.
Yes... it's supposed to not change, until they met Jin Ling. they weren't that close to the heir of the other sect, yet during the incident at the Dafan Mountain, leading them to simultaneous cases tied to that incident at the Mo Village, Jin Ling became closer to them. Their team of two now became three. And that one that added became closer to Lan Sizhui, while he grew distant from him. He could only watch from the side as the two became closer. He can't do anything about it, since he knows one day when they will grow up, he and Lan Sizhui will go separate ways. He always knew that, yet he pushed that thought to the back of his head, never wanted to think about it.
However, with the appearance of Jin Ling... that scary thought came back. He thought, and wanted for him and Lan Sizhui to be together always... forever. Yet, it will never come true. They will part. And now... he thought as he always watched the two talk and laugh. He guessed the sooner they part, the better.
Will he able to distance himself from Sizhui, though?
(A/N: UwU my poor baby Jingyi!!!!!!!!! T^T to be continued)
