alfa fuar

elspeth

i need to preface this chapter by saying that this chapter details mental abuse and could be triggering. this is in now way my opinions or beliefs, this is how elspeth thinks. so please be aware of that before reading. the picture above is elspeth how imagined she'd look if killian were to have a portrait of her done ( she obviously isn't a princess when he meets her) her defining features being her doe like brown eyes, long brown hair and petite frame. this chapter is meant to be a glimpse into her mind, but the book will mainly be in killians pov.

He had finally had enough. He was sick of the embarrassment I continually brought upon him. Day in and day out he had put up with my whining and crying. But now he was done. He would no longer make excuses for my absences when I didn't show up to events. No longer. Today was too important. I couldn't be an embarrassment. Not today.

Today was the day the Alpha King would be visiting our village. We were the last stop on his tour. He was visiting each village searching for his queen. All unmated females were required to attend the meeting. Even the humans.

"Not that you'd ever be his mate. King Killian doesn't a weak, spineless brat like you. Worthless bitch."

My stepfather wasn't wrong. He knew about this kind of thing. He was the right-hand man of the Alpha of our village. He knew all about the wolves and their mating bonds. Humans were rarely paired with wolves. We were weak and held little power.

The Alpha King would never want a burden like me. I knew my step-father was right. I was worthless.

Nevertheless, I was required to attend.

I hated pack meetings.

I was the weak link.

My pack mates didn't like me. I was annoying. I was weird. I couldn't do anything right. I couldn't say anything right. I was a worthless freak. I was lucky my step-father agreed to take care of me even after my Mother's death.

I should be grateful.

I had to go. I couldn't be an embarrassment again. Not this time. He had had enough. Today was too important. I couldn't mess up today of all days.

But yet again, I was weak. Spineless. I awoke today, not for the first time, frozen with fear My lungs ceased working. My body shook as if I had gotten caught outside in the dead of winter. Tears wouldn't stop falling, no matter what I tried. The meeting had already begun, and once again my weakness was shining through.

I jumped when I heard the roar.

The Alpha King had arrived.

His search had begun.

*

I cried as I remembered my silly childhood dreams. I'd grown up listening to my Mother's tales of 'The Lonely King'. A man who'd spent centuries waiting, searching, for his queen. All alone in that big castle of his, ruling entire kingdoms with no one at his side. And like every other little girl, I dreamed of one day finding my Prince Charming.

After my Mother passed I held onto those dreams tight. Childishly imagining the Lonely King I'd heard so many tales about. I dreamed he'd one day come and sweep me off my feet, saving me from my otherwise lonely life. I would imagine he'd one day come to my village and make me his queen.

A silly foolish dream.

I wasn't worthy enough to be blessed with a mate. No one would ever want me, least of all the Alpha King.

I wept for the naive child I once was. I wept for the little girl who lost her Mother so young. The little girl who spent her days foolishly believing anyone would want her. That little girl so lonely and afraid, desperate for something to hold onto. Grasping onto the fairytales her Mother had told her as a child. Creating her foolish tale in her head where that Lonely King in the big empty castle would one day save her.

I wept for the death of my childlike naivety.

No prince would ever come and sweep me off my feet. I was no longer a foolish child filled with naive hope. That little girl was no longer.

I knew better now.

I knew my place.

*

thanks so much for reading,

-ej