Jar of Hearts

“Tony-”

“No, Cap. Not today,” Tony responded, rubbing his hand down his face, as if he could physically wipe away the exhaustion etched so clearly on his face.

“But Tony, it’s been years since-”

“Yeah, it has. So let’s just leave it at that, huh? You seemed pretty keen to be rid of all of it before, so just- there you go. Consider it rid. Easy peasy.” Tony knew his voice was none too friendly, but he had years to catch up on here.

“Tony, would you just-”

“No. I won’t just, Steve. I won’t just anything. You made your choice. Very clearly, if I recall. It was a no brainer, it was just always gonna be him, wasn’t it? So what were you doing with me then? Huh, Cap? Did the ice really freeze your soul too?”

Now that it was coming out, there was no controlling what fell from his tongue.

“You made those choices, to be with me, Cap. You kissed me. You slept with me. You did the domestic thing, the partners in crime-fighting thing, the fluffy practically married crap. You did all that with me. And you knew it was me, right? Or was that the issue? Too many brunettes in your life to keep track of?”

Oh, this was going nowhere good…

“Aunt Peggy’s hair was a little longer, wasn’t it? Paler skin too. Thought an artist such as yourself would pick up on the little things like that. Maybe confusing her with Bucky, now that is understandable. Except, his hair wasn’t that long back then. At least, according to all the stories Howard had memorized from his favorite sacred text: Captain America: Howard Stark’s Gift to Mankind!”

Steve’s face had gone from red to pale and back again already but Tony could tell he was just getting warmed up.

“Oh! I get it! Is that why? I looked enough like the Bucky from your memories to get you off? Older, obviously. I have none of the boyish charm left that I’m sure Barnes had in droves. But the hair? That was close enough, right? Especially from the back probably. Similar build, just a bit smaller. But that’s okay, you probably hadn’t gotten all that used to being the same size as him, that could be reasoned away easily enough.”

Steve looked horrified at the turn this conversation had taken. In all honesty, part of Tony’s brain wanted to give Steve the benefit of the doubt. He seemed to have come back with an honest intention to repair the damages.

But the part of Tony that had been shattered when he had been left, wounded and alone, to deal with the physical damage that healed far faster than the emotional trauma, wanted blood. He wasn’t doing this for the fun of it. He wanted the other man as far away from him as humanly possible.

Maybe further, considering one of them was a super human.

“Barnes was gorgeous, wasn’t he? That’s how all the ladies in Howard’s stories felt. What they all said in those interviews they did about you guys. Was that it? All it takes is some certain level of attractiveness, some dark hair, and close enough?” Tony hadn’t meant to start this here, now, but apparently there was no time like the present.

“Did I fill his spot at all, or was that why you so desperately needed to find him? Couldn’t wait to be done having to pretend. Must’ve been exhausting, day in, day out, never being honest about who you wanted. Trying to keep our names straight in bed. Who was it sucking your dick the night before all this started, Steve? Was it me? Or was it him?”