The Secrets We Keep

Walking Away From Heartache

Kara POV

I arrive at the DEO, frantic and desperate to find Alex, but there's too many people,

'Alex?' I call out,

'Kara!' I hear before she suddenly bursts through the crowd, 'Look you need to be open-minded about this, I will explain soon but just come with me, no arguments.' Alex says sternly, appreciating her tone I follow her through the crowd towards the med bay. I protectively place a hand on my bump before noticing I'm wearing Mon-El's jumper, in the hurry of leaving the loft I must have put it on.  I sigh in relief as I realize it's covering my bump. He must be overwhelmed after being away for all this time only to come back home, only Rao knows what adding a pregnancy declaration in the mix would make him feel.

Alex stops outside the med bay as Winn joins us but I can't see inside as the blinds are closed. The anxiety that I'd been pushing aside quickly floods my stomach, I'm almost scared.

'Alex, how can he be alive? If he were alive all this time, he would have found a way to contact me, he wouldn't have just abandoned me, abandoned us. I know he wouldn't do that so what is going on?' I cry, Alex shuffles before looking at Winn who comes to my side.

'Kara, I was alerted two days ago to a beacon emitting from underneath the North River, J'onn and Alex investigated and found a ship beyond the capabilities of this time. We tried to contact the ship but there was no reply, so we sent a team down to the ship a few hours ago, they found nine people in some kind of suspended animation including Mon-El who was already awake.' Winn explains.

'He wasn't alone?' I ask, I feel a sense of relief knowing that Mon-El wasn't on his own, that he had someone there for him, I smile briefly before noticing the uneasiness on Winn's face. "Winn?'

'Like I said Kara, the ship is beyond the capabilities of this time. The ship we found is from the future and it seems that is where Mon-El has been.'

'Okay he's from the future, but he's still my Mon-El right? He remembers us, his time here in the DEO?' The uneasiness in my gut begins to grow again. Winn only looks at Alex,

Alex grabs my hand, 'It's been seven years for him Kara, seven years since you put him in that pod and he left. Right now he's in there with his wife, he wants to see you and explain some things, and I think you need to tell him about your pregnancy.'

I feel my heart plummet in my chest,

'His wife? He's married?' Alex only squeezes my hand tighter but it offers no comfort. I feel my eyes begin to fill with tears and I fall into her arms. I begin to sob into Alex's shoulder but as I do, someone leaves the med bay and as the door closes, I see him.

I notice he has a beard and no longer looks like the young man I used to know yet he's still handsome, he looks like the man I fell in love with but I know that man is long gone. Just before the door closes I see a woman take his hand and clench it tightly, a surge of jealousy takes over me before quickly turning into pain.

'I can't do this Alex, I can't. I feel sick. I need to get out of here.' Alex releases my hand and I quickly turn on my heels heading towards the training room to find myself some space. My eyes begin to sting as I hold in more sobs, I refuse to hear anymore, I can't bare to hear any more.

I quickly walk down the stairs to the training room but as I do I hear an echo down the stairwell

'Kara?' I almost break down hearing his voice, my body stills as I clench the handrail, crushing it accidentally. I close my eyes and when they re-open he's there standing in front of me and all I want to do is to collapse into his arms but I know I can't, a look of confusion takes over his face. I almost want to run but I feel rooted to the spot,

'Kara, you okay?' I don't trust my words so I just look down at my feet, praying that he will sense my uneasiness and just leave - but he doesn't.

'It' so good to see you, I know Alex has explained a little but I need to explain to you myself what is happened, there is so much I need to tell you. I need to tell you about my-'

'Wife?' I interrupt, 'I'm happy for you Mon-El, happy that you weren't alone all this time, but this is too hard right now, I'm sorry.' I say as I hold in my tears.

A veil of silence falls over us,

'That was my favorite jumper you know.' He says pointing at me, I grimace.

'I've slept with it all these months, it keeps the nightmares of you dying away somehow.' I choke back a sob once more, 'I'm really sorry I need to go, I can't do this. .'

I rush past him and head into the training room, slamming the door behind me. I slide down against the wall and collapse in a heap on the floor, I let the sobs overtake my body once more until I fall asleep.

When I wake up I feel warmth next to me and realize Winn is leaning against the wall sleeping too, I move slightly before adjusting the pillow he must have placed under my bump, I groan in discomfort and place a hand on my bump.

"Kara you okay?' Winn asks sleepily, 'Is the baby okay?'

'I'm fine Winn, but what should I do? This is all a big mess and I don't know how to fix it. Tell me what to do Winn, please.' I beg, but he doesn't reply and simply just embraces me.

'We'll sort this out Kara, one way or another I promise, but let's get you some food eh? Potstickers for breakfast.' I smile gently before laughing.

'Sure.'

I grab my jumper and head upstairs, not knowing what the day will bring.