Some Kind Of Diary

Entry Number 5

2019.03.26

So... Since I spent the last entry complaining about something I am now going to write about something or someone I like. Hell, maybe love...

As I previously mentioned I've got a crush on Lewis. And I also mentioned that I think it's more than just a crush now. People say that, if a crush lasts more than 4 months it's considered as love. Well... That's the case here. :"D

How could I not love him I mean... he's awesome. He has the cutest and most adorable laugh and smile I've ever seen. Lewis has a strong personality and doesn't really care about what other people might think about him but he's still there if you're feeling low to listen, talk and help you with your problems. When I told him about me being gay he took it really well. It didn't affect our friendship. Neither did he want any distance or acts differently around me since then. Quite the opposite actually. I think our friendship has grown stronger. Also, he's one factor that showed me, what "love" really means. And because of that, I finally truly understood the meaning behind many sayings and that money alone doesn't make you happy. He's that one thing that is always in my head. The thing I always think about. I mean seriously, there are not even 10 minutes where my thoughts don't land at him. 

But there's also jealously taking place in me. There are some girls in our class he knows since the first grade. They also even have boyfriends and are happy in their relationships and they see each other as good friends, nothing more. Still, I feel jealous... Also, Jack's another factor, making me feel jealous. Even though they are kind of "drifting apart", they (and sometimes me) spend some time together. The moments, when they are alone are the ones making me feel this way. And I don't like it  (obviously) but also because being jealous is not what I want to be... :/

But I'm complaining again. So I guess I'll end this entry.
Bye :D