John - Why is life so cruel?

Letting her go

It was her funeral. His girlfriends funeral. Charlie's funeral. There weren't many people there, only him, his best friends and a couple of relatives I don't even think she knew existed. John didn't know what to do. Their relationship had been a secret so no had any idea they had even been going out at all. His friends had guessed though, and knew this one had hit close to home. They knew he looked awful.  His hair needed brushing, it also needed cutting and he looked an actual shade of grey. But he didn't care anymore. He didn't want to let her go, but he knew he had to. He listened to the funeral service and walked up to the open casket and there he saw the love of his life, Charlotte. He felt responsible, he thought he should be the one in the coffin, not her. He felt guilty that she was dead, she was dead trying to save him. Poor John had no one to turn to. He hadn't realised that he had started crying until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned round to face his best friend Carlton. He hugged him quickly. His friends were worried about him.
"Hey John. Calm down buddy look let's go outside ok?" Carlton said, John nodded as him, Carlton and Lamar went outside whilst the girls were paying their respects to Charlie.
"Hey buddy," Lamar said gently smiling at him, "she's in a better place now, she's with her mother and father, her brother, her aunt and even Michael. They are together now."
"I know," John said, sniffing, "it's just for us down here, it's still hard, I loved her guys I really did."
The two men looked at each other then looked at their broken friend.
"Look John, it's time to let Charlie go." Carlton said. Patting him on the shoulder.
"I know Carl, it's just that it's harder than you think. Imagine right. You've just got together with Jessica, you have loved her for years, and then she dies, in front of you, a pointless death that could have been prevented by merely being in a different place. Or Lamar, imagine you just got together with Marla, but she gets stabbed whilst your unconscious, you wake up and find out she's dead, and you know you could of helped but you were too weak. Because that's what happened to me guys, that's my reality." John cried as tears streamed out of his bright blue eyes.
"Oh John. It wasn't your fault." Carlton said trying to touch his shoulder again. But John had - had enough, he got up and said,
"Look guys, I'm gonna go and think about this, I just want you to know that you're great friends and you all deserve better than this. Bye guys." And with that, John walked away, seeing is friends for the last time in 4 years. For the last time before he was on his death bed...

AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Hi guys! This is the shortest chapter, it's just like the beginning to set the scene, I promise it gets better, another chapter will be up very soon. Remember to rate and add a comment if you want me to add something!!