Late Night Cries [jilix]

prologue

edit sept. 8, 2020
[woojin is mention once or twice, but he's an asshole, so i've decided to not take him out of this story, but he's been removed from the rest of mine !!]

Did you hear my late night cries for help? If you did why didn't you help me? I was hoping one day you would walk through those doors and comfort me. That never happened though. All you did was ignore my pleads for help. If you could do it again would you help me or do the same thing over again? 

You were my boyfriend and you did nothing to help me. Why do I still care about you? I care because I love you but you didn't love me hard enough. My late night cries are because of you.

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It all started with me skipping one meal than two and now I don't eat. I eat enough to survive but I'm weak really weak. I can't do anything anymore. I can't dance or hang out with my friends. I can't see anyone I care about. That's why I'm writing these letters. To show you that no matter what I do to myself it doesn't matter because I love you more than I love myself. I don't care if I'm suicidal. So what if I die then there's one less problematic kid in the world.

I don't need a life. I don't need food. I don't need air. I don't need to love myself. I only need your love and comfort and I'll stay. If I don't have it I'm gone. Not just from your lives but from everything. I'll be gone from life. I'll be gone from the world. I won't be here and that's okay because you didn't need me to live your life happily. 

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Warning contains thing such as:

depression 

suicidal thoughts

suicidal actions

mentions of attempted suicide 

self-harm

anorexia

metal hospitals

bxb relationships

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the start of this book is in November of 2016

this story will be told by a series of letters and once in a while normal chapters.

Felix is the main character and most of the story is from his POV(Point of View)