I sat near the room's window, the stunning landscape of Towa City was competing with the ugly thoughts that occupied my mind. The tall mountains rose high against the crystalline skies, the rolling hills pulsated with green and life. And yet sorrow weighed down on my chest. The only way to quell my emotions was to sit silently and think- To think about anything but the warmth of that male's arms around me, or the soft wisps of breath against my ear accompanied by the whispered words of 'I love you'.
God forbid I'd ponder the opposite, the unapologetic harshness of that male's words when mine, theirs - his sentimental ideologies clashed against one another, hope, despair - what did it matter? To think how the arguments held the ferocity of fighting dogs against one cat always left them all with emotional wounds at the end. His love was as vile and alluring as the person it was chained to.
And yet here I remained, my head fighting every step against that man while my heart would bow towards him without any hesitation. I craved the affection he offered me, and he returned it with unhesitating love and devotion.
Droplets of rain drummed softly against the panes of the glass, creating an onslaught of sound that seemed to amplify my heart and ears. Years had passed and so had the toll of constant death, bitter and cold had already left its marks on me, like scars that maim your soul and mind.
The evening passed rather slowly, the wheels of my mind, my thoughts grinding along with the rhythm the rain formed onto the glass. Until they were halted by a knock on the door. Becoming aware of where I resigned and my surroundings, I awoke from my dreamlike state and remembered that my friend, Kirina had made arrangements with a therapist despite my begging not to do so, she did care after all.
I bit back a sigh, and lifted myself to open the door. I was greeted by a chaste embrace and a polite hello. A hollow feeling twisted in my chest.
The relationship around therapists and clients outwardly seemed inseparable- like two friends who accompanied each other every step of the way. But while all was gilded so perfectly, underneath lurked the truth of the relationship.
That's how it was nowadays. Holding in something that had been summarised so wrongly amongst the years by those who hadn't ever participated in such game, or have known the people - it started lots and lots of opinions that floated around to this day. True or false, I could never bring myself to say anything.
What once was supposed pure and passionate soon turned into stressful, almost a festering fire burning up into my chest. Arguments would grow in number as their views drifted apart, yet neither was willing to let go. Teamwork and Companionship danced on a thread that was ready to snap at any second but remained taunt out of stubbornness.
I waited for her to sit down in front of my spot, decorated with dim candles that lightly filled the air with just the right mood as I reflected at what had happened years ago, it was worse than what I'd already been through. Thinking about it gave me a heart-sting, burning pain. Just then I began to lose my breath, I quickly caught it though, on the verge of choking out a sob I head back over. My lungs felt as if they were pulsing heavily.
Without further prompting, the Therapist and I took off into conversation. In company of one another, I felt safe around her - the glance was familiar. With the naked eye, her and I seemed to appear as best friends, there was a bunch of information we hadn't shared about myself though.
The woman pushed her glasses up and extended out her hand for what I thought could've been a handshake.
"My name is Serapisuto Kanashimi, and I shall be your therapist." She stated.
I continued to look out the window, the city was quiet at night, lanterns ... lights, everything I could've ever imagined whilst living in such an occupied city, harsh realities struck that even the worse things could occur in the prettiest views.
