Before anything this story should just be a trigger warning in its self it pretty depressing and follows some tough subjects such as depression and self harm so if you hate that stuff move along and read a story of sunshine and rainbows.now on to th...
Percy's pov ( point of view if you didn't know)( italics are his bad thoughts)
I wake up in a cold sweat. Another nightmare. it was about smelly Gabe my first tormentor I thought I was over it but I'm not, I drag my fat ass to the bathroom and look into the mirror . you need to lose weight Perseus or you'll fail again like you failed you friends. The voice is right I'm a failure and I need to lose weight I'll just skip breakfast and dinner. I look down at my arms littered with white lines . I guess you could call them battle scars I am constantly at war with myself and its a battle I'm not going to win. I go to the medicine cabinet and grab a few anti depressants and swallow them dry. I go to therapy weekly I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, anorexia and of course the usual ADHD and dyslexia. I go every Thursday it's with a son of Apollo who used to go to camp because I was sure I'd be at an asylum if I told a mortal I fight things from Greek mythology. After my pills I grab a small dagger that I keep as a chain round my neck. It was a present from Thalia. If only she knew it's real use. I draw a few lines in to my arm and then wrap them up tightly.
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(Percy's daggers) The cutting only helps a little it makes me feel like I'm getting the punishment I deserve every day . It was my fault so many people died in war and this was my punishment. I cleaned the dagger and put the chain round my neck and began to get dressed . I have stopped wearing a camp T-shirt because I don't want people to know I'm hurting myself so I wear and oversized camp jumper , denim jeans and grey converse with waves on them that Nico got me for my birthday .
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Nico has forgiven me for Bianca's death but I still blame myself . I look at my shield watch and see it's almost breakfast so I go to breakfast get a plate full of food and put it all I. The fire and leave before anyone shows up I pray to my father . Yesterday camp got a new camper his name is Hayden Voda he's from the Czech Republic ,same age as me and I have a feeling he's a son of Poseidon his last name literally means water. He was running away from a hell hound puppy into camp and me being me a killed the oversizes mutt . But what really confused me is that Hayden covered himself in the dust from the hell hound and just as people were rushing to see if they could help the new comer. Once everyone got here he said "Hello my name is Hayden voda and I just fought two fully grown evil dogs all my self while this guy just stood and laughed." I was so confused especially when he pointed at me while saying this guy, Chiron look at me disappointed. "I thought you were better than this Percy maybe the fame is getting too your head I'm extremely disappointed in you"he said I was in shock, Chiron is like a dad to me has been for years yet he believed in a boy who's been here for seconds over some one he's known for years "No Chiron I'm disappointed in you , I thought someone who was like a father to me for a lot of my life would trust me or at least ask for my point of view first I guess I've just lost my trust in you Chiron, I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused." And with that I walked away I could see that Chiron was away to cry after that hopefully realising his mistake but despite his calls I just went to the cabin and locked the door. I spent all of yesterday in my room, I skipped every meal and just slashed into my legs and used a lighter to close the wounds then splashed water on them so they healed and I could do it more. After breakfast today I went back to my room and lay on my bed tonight slowly cutting into my arms until I fell asleep which probably wasn't my smartest idea but I am a seaweed brain after all.
Chiron's pov
I felt awful after what I said to Percy yesterday ,I don't know what came over me it's just he's been acting funny since the war and barely attending activities I just thought he'd lost interest in camp but to think he wouldn't help someone kill a monster was too far for me. I let him cool off yesterday hoping he would come out of his cabin on his own terms but he didn't , he didn't even eat. I saw him leave his cabin today but he went to breakfast early got a plate full of food which made me breath a sigh of relief but that relief quickly disappeared when he poured it all in the fire and returned to his cabin. I decided it was time I checked on him .I trotted off to his cabin and as soon as I got there I smelled the heavy stench of blood I was beginning to get worried so I knocked on the door. No answer. I repeated this three times before finding the keys in my messenger bag and unlocking the door . What I saw crushed my heart. Here he was sleeping peacefully with tear stains in his face a dagger in his hand. His arms covered no cuts and blood and it was all me fault.
~~~ So first chapter . Tell me what you think I'm happy to be given any advice or criticism no matter how mean. But I'm pretty happy with the length if it's to long and you'd rather lots of short chapters let me know my stories are for people's enjoyment ~kat
