A FRACTURE IN THE CONSCIOUSNESS ✓

JOSH

By the time Josh answered his phone sometime around midnight, Kehlani was dead and Brad was beyond pissed.

"Dead? What do you mean dead?"

"I mean, the bitch wrote a suicide letter and shot herself," Brad snapped over speakerphone.

Josh looked at Tyler, who raised his eyebrows in mild surprise at Brad's crude language. "Why would she kill herself?"

"You know how we'd assumed Jeremy and had a partner that conducted half of the murders?" Josh said yes. "Well, she wrote her confession in the letter, killed her daughter, then herself."

"Wait, she had a little girl in the house when she committed suicide, and she killed her?" Tyler asked, finally looking shocked. Josh made a face at him, mouthing what the hell? at him, only to get a shrug back.

"Was the gun used to kill the daughter the same as the one Parrish killed herself with?" Josh added, gesturing at him to go and shower. He did so reluctantly, limping on his way out.

"Not sure yet. We're waiting for ballistics to come back," Brad answered. "I just find it odd timing how the same day that we begin to suspect there's a second killer, the lawyer of the man we have in custody commits a murder-suicide."

"Maybe she knew we were onto her," Josh said.

"Maybe. I want Joseph to have a look at the letter tomorrow. You and Sarah will go by the crime scene in the morning, it's too late now. By the way, what the hell took you so long to answer?" Jenna asked, her voice accusing.

Josh looked up, waiting until Tyler had closed the door to answer. "Tyler's been acting... fucking weird lately. At first I thought he was struggling to adjust, but I think it's something. He begged me to... I didn't know what else to do."

Brad was quiet for a moment. He heard some shuffling and muted voices before Jenna started to talk. "You had sex on the job. Dun, we've talked about this-"

Embarrassed, Josh looked away from the phone even though he knew they couldn't see him. "Look, I know you said it was a bad idea after what happened in San Fransisco, but I love him, Black. And I'd do anything for him. You tell me how to handle my broken fiancé when he's begging for a distraction from the voices in his head telling him to do bad things."

"Dun." Her tone was sharp, and he flinched. When she continued, however, she had gotten quieter. "I understand. After Aaron, I- I didn't know how to function. Our situations someone is hard, but now look at me now. I've got a kid. I'm thriving. Give it time."

"I know. I just thought if I did it, then- he's starting to go off the rails. You've seen it, I've seen it. He's pushing himself too hard but I'd be a hypocrite if I told him to go home."

"...Change of plans. Take Tyler back to Quantico. You two are officially on your 90 day leave, and do not date to come back to work until it's over. I'll send you a copy of the letter and you two can work from home."

"Wait, no. You need me there," Josh argued.

"Joshua, that is an order, it's not up for discussion," Brad said.

"I don't care if the goddamn reckoning starts and we're understaffed," Jenna said. "The mental health of you two is more important than the amount of players we have in the field. I don't give two shits what the Bureau says."

He got quiet. "You know Tyler won't like it."

"I don't care. He doesn't have to like it, he just needs to get better. Take him home. We can handle this case alien until your leave is done."

After she hung up, and Tyler poked his head through the door, completely oblivious of their conversation. "You gonna join me?"

Josh left his phone on the bed and stepped into the separate room, steam pouring from the shower and making it feel more like a sauna than like a cheap hotel bathroom. "Are you okay?"

Tyler shrugged, hanging a pair of towels over the curtain rod. "A bit sore, but better. I'm sorry if I pressured you into anything, I just needed- there was nothing else that would've gotten my mind off of all the bullshit swirling around in my mind," he said, not meeting Josh's eyes.

"Tell me about it." Josh stepped into him, wrapping his arms around Tyler's waist. "I'm here for you. You know that, right?"

"You'd think I was crazy if I told you," Tyler whispered, opening the shower curtain.

"I could never."

Tyler laughed coldly and stepped into the shower, Josh's hands slipping away until they dangled helplessly at his sides. "I doubt that."

"Maybe if you tell me, then I could help you," Josh said, becoming irritated.

"I can't," Tyler shot back. "You'll hate me."

"Jesus, Tyler, you give me enough credit if you think anything could make me-"

"I'm starting to forget things." He stalled for a moment before continuing. "At one point I forgot your birthday, even though I- I eventually remembered it again. But I can feel the memories slipping, like- like someone pulling a thread. I can't- it's so frustrating, and I'm afraid that if this keeps up, I'll forget you completely."

Josh stared at the back of Tyler's head, unsure how to respond. Slowly, he set his head between Tyler's shoulder blades, pressed his lips down and over the scars that decorated his spine. He began to kiss every disfigurement he could reach- maroon circles that had not yet faded from the front and back of Tyler's tan hands, the dots that traced the outside of his thighs, and the thin, rose colored lines that zigzagged over his legs and arms.

There were deep red slashes all over his chest and neck, Tyler was lucky they hadn't damaged his vocal chords. The scars on his face had luckily faded the quickest, only tinted pink now, but the skin was raised and wrinkled, reminding Josh of Heath Ledger's Joker. Josh wondered how much of the torture he remembered. He didn't want to think about Tyler alone and scared, the closest to death he'd ever been.

"Nothing could ever make me love you any less than I do now," Josh whispered in his ear, kissing the scar on the corner of his mouth. "I don't care if you start to forget me. I'll always be there, and I'll help you remember."