Is This My Life?(Completed)

~Prologue~

I hear him.

The heavy footfalls are unmistakable.

I glance at my clock, 10:32. Nick and Lila are asleep. Good.

My breath catches in my throat as the pounding on the floor stops. Right outside my door.

For a split second, I find myself wishing, begging the universe to let him carry on to his room, and go to bed.

No such luck.

I squeeze my eyes shut and tighten my grip on my blanket, silently willing him to leave me alone.

Then I hear my door. Creaking open, sounding like the ominous noises heard on horror movies.

But this wasn't a movie. As much as I wish I could just hit stop then break the disk, I can't. Because this isn't a movie, this isn't a nightmare, as much as I hate to admit it, this is my life.

Again I hear his footsteps. Growing closer, and closer, and closer to my bed.

I feel my bed dip down behind me, the smell of alcohol and something else attacking my nose with no mercy.

I hate this.

I'm trembling. I hope he doesn't notice.

I hope he thinks I'm asleep.

"Harley," His voice is low, gruff, and slightly slurred. I can feel his hot, alcohol-filled breath on my neck, blowing away a few pieces of hair. "I know you're awake," I stiffen. His voice has a hard edge to it now. "don't pretend you don't hear me," I know what's coming. I close my eyes even tighter, then I clench my jaw so I don't scream out. The moment I'm through bracing myself, I hear him shifting slightly on my bed before he yells "you BITCH!" and I feel that all too familiar pain of his fist to my jaw.

I suppose clenching it wasn't the greatest idea, as my teeth ground against each other and a sick snapping noise echoed through my room. The next thing I know, he's grabbed my right shoulder through the blanket-as I'd been laying on my left side to face away from him-and slamming it down flat against the bed so that I was laying on my back, staring up into his rage-filled eyes.

It took everything I have not to scream out in pain and fear, and not to cry.

Crying was a weakness.

I can't afford to have weaknesses. Not around him.

So, I stare up into his eyes as the corners of his mouth twist upward into the most sickening expression one could imagine, but one I see day after day.

'Here it comes.' I think to myself. It's only moments later that my suspicions are confirmed as three of his friends walk through the door.

The biggest of the three, Nathan, walks over. With his sweeping black hair, daring green eyes, toned muscles, pointed features, and soft yet strong voice, he's the type of guy other girls would swoon from. But other girls don't know him like I do. He walks over and sits on my bed, at my left side. I swallow hard, finally tasting the blood from the blow to my jaw, hating the way it tasted on my tongue, and felt going down my throat. I stare up at Nathan, trying my hardest to hide the pure fear and terror from my eyes as it courses through my entire being. I don't think I succeeded, though, because a sick smirk appeared on his face and he stands before beginning to pull my blankets down, exposing my neck, then my chest, stomach, hips, legs, feet.

A part of me begged to take this opportunity to just jump up and run, but I couldn't do that. Lila was just two rooms down. Nick, only three. Mom was right across the hall.

No. I can't run. I have to take it. All of it. For them.

Nathan forces me to snap out of my thoughts by kissing the bruising skin where I'd been punched only minutes before. The feel of his lips on my jaw made me shudder with disgust, a shiver being sent down my spine. Nathan, however, took it as a sign of pleasure, same as he always does.

'Why me?' I try to keep my mind off of whatever the sick men are doing. Trying to go to a "happy place". But I don't have one.

Why?

Because I've never felt happy.

He's never let me.

My entire body begins to feel cold, and I know instantly that I'm no longer clothed. I glance around me at the four men gathered around my bed, speaking quietly to one another. My eyes are then pulled in the direction of the door as I see an approaching shadow, created by the hall light, out the corner of my eye. Panic begins to spread through me. 'Why didn't they close the door?!' That could be Nick... or Lila... They can't see this...

I force myself to look towards the men again, and I speak for the first time since I was forced to speak in class earlier today. My voice sounds hoarse and breathy from the panic. "Please... Shut the door..." I directed my request to all of the men, hoping at least one would have the decency to honor it, even if they did think me nothing more than a toy.

To my surprise, the one to do as I'd asked was David. Unlike Nathan, David had a cross look upon his face at all times, his muscles made him look overweight, he had a bald spot upon the top of his head, brown eyes that contrasted with his remaining blonde hair, and a 5 o'clock shadow that never seemed to go away. The reason it surprised me that he was the one to listen to my wish, was because he is usually the harshest. Everything with him always hurt the most, and he never seems to care. He seems to enjoy seeing me in pain, while most of the others choose to see my pain as pleasure, like Nathan.

Once he walks back over, my eyes fall upon the third man who'd entered my room. Kenny.

Sure Kenny looked small and feeble, what with his slender frame, short stature, wispy red hair, and dull gray eyes, but the truth was that he was absolutely vicious. He may not have the most muscles in the world, nor the most strength, but he certainly knew how to use what he did have.

And believe me, it could hurt.

My breathing begins to shallow as Kenny nods to the other men then walks over to my bed, strips off his shirt, and throws it to the floor beside my bed. I close my eyes tightly and ball my hands into fists to keep myself from crying. I feel my bed dip down on either side of me, and I feel a- presence hovering above me. Then I felt Kenny's strangely cold breath on my lips as I felt his bare chest touch mine, making me shudder involuntarily. I feel his chest rumble with laughter, then his thin, chapped lips forcefully on mine, causing bile to rise in my throat as I resist the urge to push him off of me and run.

The rest of my night is spent feeling that same sense of disgust and filth covering me from the inside out. All the way until 3:09 in the morning, all four of the men doing whatever they wished, adoring the fact that I wouldn't protest.

No. I wouldn't make a sound. Long ago I learned that lesson. They get tired of me quicker if I don't give them the satisfaction of even one single noise. They beat me harder, but leave me faster. It was worth it. That way, every morning, they were gone within enough time for me to sob for awhile, shower, dress my wounds, sleep for maybe an hour, then be awoken by Nick and Lila jumping around my room excitedly, unable to wait to play before we had to go to school.

Though it's been like this for as long as I can remember, I still can't help but wonder... Is this my life?

~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N 8-9-2016: View external link to see the Preview of this story made for publishing. It is just an excerpt from the edited Prologue, so let me know what you think?