Better Off Without Me

Chapter 5: Am I... anything...?

Slowly but surely, the voices got quiter and quiter. Mortis was a mess, many thoughts ran around his head.

"Mortis! Please let me in! Are you ok?!"

Poco was trying to get in Mortis's room, he wanted to see if Mortis was ok or not. Mortis rolled his sleeves down.
After a while, Mortis unlocked his door, he changed from the black hoodie with dark purple stripes to a dark red hoodie. Mortis went back to his bed and lied down on it. Poco opened the door, he ran to Mortis.

"Are you ok?! What happened?!" Poco rambled on and on with questions, and he said it all with a worried tone.

"I-I'm fine. It's ok Poco, I was just having a breakdown." Mortis lied, he was convincing.

"You sure? It sounded like something was wrong!" Poco said, but a little less worried.

Mortis nodded.

"Ok, you had me worried there, please don't get me worried over something as simple as that." Poco sighed.

"Ok, I'll try not to." Mortis said.

Poco hugged Mortis tightly. He hugged back. Poco had a gut feeling something was wrong with Mortis now, but he didn't know what.

"Atleast you're ok." Poco said as he walked out of Mortis's room.

He closed the door behind him. Mortis sighed.

"If I tell him that I was hearing voices and cutting myself, he would've gone crazy to try and help me.. I couldn't tell him any of that." Mortis thought.

Mortis stared at the ceiling. He just wanted to give in, he wanted to let go of everything, and give up. Poco, Colt, and Bull were the only ones he had to keep fighting for. He got out of bed, he cleaned up the blood that Poco, suprisingly, didn't notice, aswell as the razor. Mortis put the razor back in the drawer.
Bull knocked on Mortis's door. Mortis went to the door and opened it.

"Can we hang out now?" Bull asked.

"S-Sure." Mortis said.

"Where do you want to hang out? My room or your room?"

"M-My room's fine."

"Alright."

Bull went into Mortis's room, and the two started talking. They were watching TV and talking.
Mortis hugged Bull. He hugged back. Bull noticed something was off about Mortis.

"Something seems off, are you ok?" Bull asked.

"Y-Yeah, I'm ok..." Mortis lied, it wasn't obvious he lied.

Bull thought for a moment. It took him a moment that Mortis was lying.

"Can you please tell me what's wrong, it's ok if you don't want to." Bull said.

Mortis didn't say anything, he hugged Bull a little tighter. Mortis wanted to tell Bull what was wrong with him, but he wasn't sure if Bull would help him or not.

"You can trust me if you do say it. I'll keep it a secret. I promise." Bull said.

"R-Really?"

"Yes."

Mortis sighed.

"You have to, please don't tell anyone."

"I won't tell anyone, don't worry."

Mortis rolled his sleeves up. Bull was shocked. Mortis looked away, he was both ashamed and embarrassed.

"Why?! Why would you do this to yourself?!" Bull worriedly asked.

"I-I...I hate myself.." Mortis quietly said.

"Why?! You're the sweetest one here!"

Mortis stayed quiet. Bull realized it was from everyone else except him, Poco, and Colt.
Mortis started to cry. Bull hugged Mortis tightly. He even started to cry a little bit.

"If there's anything else that you want to get off your chest, just say it. I'll keep everything you say a secret." Bull sighed.

"I-I sometimes hear voices and.. And they say mean things to me. I-I haven't been eatting anything much lately. If I do eat somethimg, I-I vomit it out after.." Mortis quietly said.

Bull hugged Mortis tighter, he was crying. He didn't know Mortis did any of this for so many years.

"I'm starting to think I'm nothing.. I don't think I'm anything anymor-"

"You're worth everything to me! You aren't nothing! You're everything! If I lose you, I don't know what I'll do!"

Mortis was shocked, he was speechless. Mortis cried more. He hugged back tightly. Bull was crying a lot. Mortis was crying more than him.
After a couple of hours, Mortis had fallen asleep while Bull hugged him. Bull was completely calmed down. It made him start thinking of something.

"Since almost everyone hurts him so much, maybe that's why he started all this. He probably wants to be good enough for everyone else to like him... Why can't he see that he IS good enough, not just to me, but the ones that care about him?" Bull thought.

Bull hugged Mortis a bit tighter.

"He just needs time and love to realize he IS good enough, and that he IS worth everyones time. One day everyone that injured Mortis would regret it, they'll realize their mistake. I just want to make Mortis happy, he rarely ever smiles now."

Bull sighed.

"I want to tell him that I love him, I would die to spend everyday with him. At the same time, he may not feel the same way. I've had this feeling for him for a while, he's just the kindest person I know, I want to see him smile and be happy again."

Mortis woke up after his short nap. Bull noticed Mortis woke up.

"Hm? You're awake." Bull said.

"Y-Yeah." Mortis yawned.

Mortis was comfortable while Bull hugged him.

Sorry that this chapter is short! I didn't plan to make it short, but don't worry, the next chapter will be longer than all the chapters I wrote/typed so far!
Hope you are all enjoying the story so far!