EATJIN! | KSJ & PJM

- singularity -

Seokjin tugged on the hem of his shirt, as he stood in front of Jimin's front door. He'd been here once before- but he still felt on edge. The houses around his looked run down, and the paint was chipped. However, Jimin's house looked neatly groomed and maintained. The potted plants on the porch looked adequately watered and taken care of. And, as Seokjin noticed, Jimin must've taken the liberty to put wind chimes up on the porch, too.

Though Seokjin didn't remember knocking, he heard a faint click of the lock, and the door opened softly, disclosing a exasperated-looking Park Jimin with a eggshell tinted watering can in hand. The way Jimin's hair stood up in tufts suggested the fact that a kid might have been playing with it, dismissing the aftermath of Jimin's locks. The student stepped out of the house in just shorts, strangely paired with a bulky looking sweater, which took Seokjin a minute to process.

"Oh," Jimin looked up, blinking. Seokjin tried to ignore the fact that, in Jimin's moment of surprise, he'd spilled a bit of water from the can on Seokjin's new shoes. "You're fast."

Seokjin dragged his shoe across the welcome mat in a discreet attempt to dry it. "I was nearby, but I'll accept your praise."

Jimin pursed his lips, tipping the watering can into a blue patch of flowers. "Go inside. It's cold out." 

"You're wearing shorts."

"With a warm sweater."

"Hardcore," Seokjin said, patting Jimin's shoulder, which sent water flying out of the can. Jimin doubted the fact that Seokjin was aware of his arm strength. "I'm going."

As soon as Seokjin set foot into Jimin's house, a cat came barreling out of nowhere, claws raking across the floor. If Seokjin hadn't jumped when he had, he didn't doubt the cat would've raked off his toes, too. "CAT!" Seokjin shrieked, hands on his chest. "CAT!" Jimin strode back into the house, watering can nowhere in sight, with his brow knit in confusion. 

"Cat?" Jimin asked.

"A psychopathic cat!"

Jimin glanced at Park, who was peacefully licking up some milk from her bowl. "My cat?"

"Well, it definitely isn't my cat!"

Park hissed, which probably translated to: "I'm a girl, you flea ridden canine!"

Seokjin, unable to understand Cat, dismissed Park's several frustrated noises. Jimin scooped up Park tiredly, like he'd gone through the process of it multiple times already. Park complied willingly, as Jimin smoothed her fur to calm the cat down.

"I don't think she likes you that much," Jimin stated, gesturing for Seokjin to have a seat. Park regarded the chef with her slit-like eyes. Seokjin stuck his tongue out. Park leaped out of Jimin's arms, sashaying out of the room to somewhere Seokjin wasn't present.

"Definitely not," Seokjin agreed, folding his hands. Jimin brushed off his too-large sweater before taking a seat beside him. "What did you want me to come over for?" 

"To show you my psychopathic cat."

"Ha." Seokjin responded, voice flatter than a sheet of paper. "Don't kick me out so soon. I don't wanna go home."

His response earned a confused glance from Jimin, who was tilting his head to the side. "Why... not?" Jimin asked. His tone (though he attempted to seem more comforting than cautious) was precarious.

"My boyfriend and I fought," Seokjin's smile seemed oddly preserved. 

Jimin would've felt less terrible if Seokjin had burst into tears on the spot, or even looked a little bit disturbed by the fact that he'd gotten into an argument. But his smile looked.. normal. Jimin didn't feel any adrenaline rushing through him, because he didn't feel like something was urgently, desperately, wrong.

A blanket of dread settled over Jimin. 

Was it possible to look even sadder while smiling?

Jimin's hands folded, the cuff of the sweater's sleeve slipping over his knuckles. "And you're smiling?"

"People cry when they're happy," The chef mused. Even now, he sounded like Namjoon, thinking on a deeper level. "Why can't we smile while we're sad?"

"You have a point," Jimin agreed, tentatively. 

Seokjin pursed his lips into a smile, a real one, and looked at Jimin, pride shining in his eyes. He nudged the student's arm. "That  was a pretty good analogy," Seokjin suggested, wriggling his eyebrows. Jimin snorted, suppressing a laugh.

"Ridiculous," He retorted, not unhappily. The laugh he'd been holding in burst out of his mouth.

Seokjin was right, in a way. There was no doubt bad things were going to happen, and that they were going to upset the balance between ecstatic and depressed.

But it didn't mean that you lose the ability to smile within the bad things, too.

At one point, Kim Seokjin did end up going home. 

It was nothing to smile about, though he kept pressed tightly onto his lips in fear of how he'd hold up if he didn't. His shoulders were bound with tension, every movement of his body exaggerated, almost artificial-looking. 

His knuckles turned whiter than linen as he wrapped his hand around the doorknob. He didn't remember twisting it within the blur of his vision, but the door opened with a soft click. 

"Ah, you're home." Namjoon droned, his voice seemingly distant. Seokjin forced out a soft: "Yeah".

"You're still mad," Namjoon pursed his lips.

"And you are too."

"You're not wrong, Seok." Namjoon's eyes didn't meet Seokjin's for even a second as he uttered the sentence. There was no huge gunshot, but Seokjin felt a fine bullet pierce something in his chest, the sharp pain growing across his body, spiraling throughout his veins and arteries.

He gulped, which took more effort than it should have.

"I'm not going to the US with you." He said, attempting to sound firm. His voice wavered at the last second. "But you-" Seokjin moistened his lips. "-should go without me."

Namjoon's eyes shot up at his decision. His eyes shone uncertainly. Over time, Seokjin had learned to read whatever was going on in Namjoon's coffee-hued eyes, and right now, he looked scared, tentative, and to his disappointment, still slightly mad. 

What do you mean? He seemed to ask, invisibly.

"Let's take a break," Seokjin decided. There was still no loud BANG, but he could tell Namjoon had been shot too.

"People cry when they're happy," The chef mused. Even now, he sounded like Namjoon, thinking on a deeper level. "Why can't we smile while we're sad?"

Seokjin felt horrible, both physically and emotionally. Someone was stretching out his insides to the point that they didn't fit inside his body anymore, and stuffing them back in. There was too much going on inside him.

But he still pressed a smile onto his face.

---

a/n: so recently, i've been entering EATJIN! into a lot of awards on here, so i'm really excited for that ghdsjghagsdh

also i have a fanacc on ig now- @eternally.rm so y e e h a w

AND ALSO WHAT THE HECK HALSEY x BANGTAN WE'RE REALLY GONNA DIE THIS CB GET ANOTHER SEATBELT