Beneath The Mask

I️ Get It Now

Cyrus wanted to be mad at TJ. Of course, he was mad at him, but not nearly as much as he should've been. Every time that he thought about what TJ did to him, he just felt hurt more than anything else. The notion that perhaps TJ was embarrassed of him and embarrassed of their friendship stung.

On the other hand, if TJ was too ashamed to be seen doing a costume with him, then why did he ask in the first place? It wasn't like Cyrus had concocted the idea and TJ had simply begrudgingly agreed. TJ suggested it to Cyrus, so why did he bail on him?

Perhaps that was the real reason that Cyrus agreed to meet up with TJ. More than anything, Cyrus just needed to know why.

Even after everything, TJ still didn't have the basic decency to be on time. Cyrus found himself fidgeting and compulsively checking his phone, waiting for a text or just checking the time, watching each minute pass. Sometimes when he would check, he would realize that it hadn't even been a full minute since the last time. He was growing antsy.

He was actually just about to leave when he saw the other approaching.

When he got close to Cyrus, something was off about him, and Cyrus picked up on it immediately. His shoulders were slumped and scrunched up against his body, hands clasped together in front of him.

"Mind if I️ sit?" he asked.

Cyrus nodded, scooting over to make more room on the park bench.

When TJ sat down, he remained on the edge of the bench.

"Look, about last week...I️ really shoulda called or texted or something," he said.

Cyrus shook his head.

"Why didn't you?" he asked.

TJ looked down before looking back up to meet the other's gaze. He opened his mouth as if he were about to say something, before deciding against it and settling on a pathetic shrug.

"Kira really wanted me to do the costume with her and I️ just kinda couldn't say no I️ guess and I️ wasn't sure how to explain it to you," he eventually remarked.

Cyrus pressed his lips together pensively and nodded. He still didn't quite understand why TJ had to say yes to Kira at his expensive.

"I️ didn't realize you and Kira were so close all of a sudden," Cyrus said, unsuccessfully trying to mask his own bitterness.

TJ's gaze moved from Cyrus's eyes to somewhere slightly farther away. It was almost as if he was too ashamed to look at him.

He sighed.

"Yeah uh, it's kind of a thing now...Kira and I️," he explained.

Cyrus's eyes widened in surprise. He most certainly was not expecting that. Previously, he wanted an explanation from TJ, but now he was starting to regret it just a little bit.

"Well that was fast," Cyrus commented, mostly just thinking out loud.

TJ shrugged.

"Yeah I don't know I️ mean she's cool and we have a lot in common so," he said.

Cyrus shook his head. He directly into TJ's eyes, before gently placing a hand on his knee.

"Then why don't you seem happy about it?" Cyrus asked, a hint of concern in his voice.

Much to Cyrus's surprise, TJ grew defensive.

"What's that supposed to mean?" TJ accused bitingly.

Cyrus threw his hands up, resigned.

"Nothing! I️ just want to make sure you're happy," Cyrus said.

TJ scoffed.

He had made his choice. He knew what he was doing, and the last thing that he needed was Cyrus of all people trying to talk him out of it.

"Why wouldn't I️ be?" TJ asked.

Cyrus shrugged, genuinely confused as to why TJ was so riled up in the first place.

"I don't know, it just happened kinda fast and I️ didn't know that you were interested in her, that's all," Cyrus explained.

"Maybe there are just a lot of things you don't know about me," TJ said, something in those words sounding almost like a plea, but for what exactly Cyrus couldn't quite put his finger on.

Cyrus nodded.

"Okay. Well, I'm happy for you. Both of you," Cyrus assured.

TJ blinked.

"You are?" he asked.

Cyrus nodded, offering a smile.

"Of course," he said.

TJ nodded.

"So, you're not mad?" he asked.

Cyrus sighed before shrugging.

"I️ mean, it did hurt, but trust me, I️ get it," he explained.

"Wow, that actually makes me feel a lot better," TJ admitted.

He had been beating himself up ever since that day over what happened - over what he did. He felt like an awful person and yet there Cyrus was, always so understanding and it was just everything.

"Thanks, Underdog," TJ said.

"Anytime," Cyrus replied, smiling to mask the fact that he was still hurting. He figured that that was something he'd just need to learn to get used to from now on.