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Can the songs sang be unsung? (No.)

I'm all alone. Although not in a sad way. I should be sad, I am, when I'm truly alone, while everyone's in their on subconscious minds. I cry the most at night because of that.

Right now though, I'm alone due to a mistake I made. I realized then that I had only a person in my life I was dependent on. Now that she's silent to my words, I have no choice but to drown in my own thoughts.

The waters are much bitter than you'd imagine.

And I choke, everytime.

To get to my point, I'm alone right now because I'm lost. For this I seek a person, and most of the time they are not the best.

So I sought out my father. I knew he has a lot of insights, so I told him, "I have...no confidence dad." It's a sloppy start, really.

He looked at me, with his arms behind his back, his descreasing pot-belly jutted in front of him, while we were walking down a rocky road. I laughed half-heartedly, "I really don't know." My feet kicked at the stone beneath them.

"Set a target," he said. I snorted as though setting a target was a big idea. He laughed and continued, telling me about two types of people in this world

i) Study 24/7 and do exams
ii) Study and still have entertainments, but never really concentrate.

I know that I am the second type. He told me his friend was the second type and got much better results than he did.

I couldn't relate. In my own thoughts, I concluded that the chance of both acing their exam is 50%.

I realized, my dad is the best person to seek out to. I also realized, due to my lack of self-confidence I needed to convince myself that I need someone else to do my exams for.

I decided, I'll do it for my dad.

I am not included in the solution. It might be selfish reason, to do it for my dad and receive the award for myself.

But it's my own way, to place my dad as a motivational factor of my life.

-LovableConundrum
°○°○24/03/2019°○°○1:06a.m°○°○

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