dear,

march 22nd

I'm scared everyday that your last day will be my last
because a world without you I don't know what I do, or who I'd become
your my bestfriend
the first man I've ever loved
Don't get this confused for a lover
but the man that raised me
the man whose looked out for me more times I can count on my fingers
the man whose went to the moon and back
to give your little girl the world
I'm heartbroken and I know your time is near
but I still have hope that makes me pray to God everyday
asking that he blesses you and give you more time to stay
heal your pain, days you can rest and I'm not rushed with tears leaving my face
I graduate June 10th
your not even stable enough to see me walk across the stage
I've thought about that moment since the ninth grade
it's so much we didn't see
we're suppose to go back to new york again
I'm suppose to buy the house we'd one day share
it's a lot of things were suppose to do
your the reason I work so hard in school
I can't do this without you
mommy already left me too soon
and I can't bare thinking about that you might leave me to
your my bestfriend I don't want you to go
we've been through so much and I thought I was strong
but I'm weak and I can't stop the pain
I'm smiling at school but after the jokes are over
My smile slowly fades away
and once again I'm bombarded with more pain
and thoughts about you, I'm so hurt
My frustration grows everyday
my sister's and I haven't even talked about mom passing away ,
I was about eight
and we barely speak about you
it's like we're afraid to let our feelings out
I know I am , it's probably why I've been writing so much
because it's better to leave it on the paper then to tear up
but I did that too when I was in the shower and mistaken the water running instead it was the tears leaving my face
I'm hurt and I'm trying to be strong for you
I love you daddy
hope the pain stops soon.