No Fear Shakespeare: Romeo and Juliet

Act 1, Scene 5

PETER and other SERVINGMEN come forward with napkins.

PETER

Where’s Potpan? Why isn’t he helping us clear the table? He should be moving and scraping plates!

FIRST SERVINGMAN

When only one or two men have all the good manners, and even they are dirty, things are bad.

PETER

Take away the stools, the sideboards, and the plates. You, good friend, save me a piece of marzipan, and if you love me, have the porter let in Susan Grindstone and Nell. Antony and Potpan!

SECOND SERVINGMAN

Yes, boy, I’m ready.

PETER

They’re looking for you in the great chamber.

FIRST SERVINGMAN

We can’t be in two places at once, both here and there! Cheers, boys. Be quick for a while and let the one who lives the longest take everything.

PETER and the SERVINGMEN exit.

CAPULET enters with his COUSIN, TYBALT,LADY CAPULET, JULIET, and other members of the house. They meet ROMEO, BENVOLIO,MERCUTIO, and other guests and MASKERS

CAPULET

Welcome, gentlemen. The ladies who don’t have corns on their toes will dance with you. Ha, my ladies, which of you will refuse to dance now? Whichever of you acts shy, I’ll swear she has corns. Does that hit close to home? Welcome, gentlemen. There was a time when I could wear a mask over my eyes and charm a lady by whispering a story in her ear. That time is gone, gone, gone. You are welcome gentlemen. Come on, musicians, play music. (music plays and they dance, ROMEO stands apart) Make room in the hall. Make room in the hall. Shake a leg, girls. (toSERVINGMEN) More light, you rascals. Flip over the tables and get them out of the way. And put the fire out—it’s getting too hot in here. (to hisCOUSIN) Ah, my man, this unexpected fun feels good. No, sit down, sit down, my good Capulet cousin. You and I are too old to dance. (CAPULETand his COUSIN sit down) How long is it now since you and I last wore masks at a party like this?

CAPULET'S COUSIN

I swear, it must be thirty years.

CAPULET

What, man? It’s not that long, it’s not that long. It’s been since Lucentio’s wedding. Let the years fly by as fast as they like, it’s only been twenty-five years since we wore masks.

CAPULET'S COUSIN

It’s been longer, it’s been longer. Lucentio’s son is older than that, sir. He’s thirty years old.

CAPULET

Are you really going to tell me that? His son was a minor only two years ago.

ROMEO

(to a SERVINGMAN) Who is the girl on the arm of that lucky knight over there?