Bad Romance.

4

Bradley Cooper

Life is such a shitty thing sometimes, most of the times actually, the only thing that makes it all tolerable are the people you love. And right now even that was falling apart. I am in deep shit and I see no easy way out. I about to be a father, I didn't even expect it to happen all so suddenly but I couldn't be happier. But the woman I love and the mother of my child are not the same person. They are two different people.

Stefani Germanotta is essentially my soul mate, she completes me in ways that I can't even explain, we have been meeting and hanging out for 3 days now and what I've learned about her is all astonishing, she gets more special the more I spend time with her. We have the same determination and yet she is so talented yet humble. A few hours ago I nearly ruined all I have with her all out of mere lust.

In the past few days I have seen a woman who is beautiful on the inside and the outside. Her smile and her snorty laugh make my day, I love making her laugh. She is so insecure and sensitive, yet all I want to do is hug her and reassure her. While she was with her last boyfriend, that Taylor guy, I heard and saw proof that she was truly in love with the guy, and the I heard they broke up and I saw the hurt in her eyes, she was a little broken and in desperate need of loving.

She got back up and put herself together but I can see that even now, she is still missing a few pieces of her heart. Whenever he come us randomly her eyes seems to shut from the inside for just a few seconds and then, without fail, she later makes a remark about how worthless she is. It kills me every time, and the worst part is when she opens up more about herself I see why she might feel that way. All the bullying and some of her own mental states don't help either.

I wanted to be there for her, and that would mean I would have to suppress my feelings for her, the sad part is I know for a fact she feels the same for me, I know what I've learned more about her because she was forthcoming and she isn't like that with everyone. She trusts me in a way that she hasn't trusted others.

It makes me feel special but it also reminds me that she is then also a my responsibility in a way, she make me food because she feels the need to take care of me, and I was to do the same for her. To help her heal, I want her to be happy and if that means I have to sacrifice my heart and love for her happiness then so be it. I am not going to pull back, that would crush her, so I have to make it clear that I love her but I won't act on my feelings rather I will be her platonic love for as long as she wants me to.

I am now facing another dilemma, how was I going to show her that we were still friends and that I won't make any more advances towards her. I thought I should writer her a letter that had an expiry date, that way I could throw it away and then we could act as if nothing happened.

That way both of our hearts could be kept safe and free of damage. So yeah, I guess I'll have to bury my feelings for her, but I would rather have it this way then for us to distance ourselves and lose our connection. I was 42 year old man, and I am willing to make that sacrifice.

So at 3am I began to write the letter. I wrote it with an honest heart and then I put it on my nightstand. Tomorrow I'm going to her house and giving her this letter and some flowers too.

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When I woke up it was 8am and I was super tired but I set the alarm for this time because I had a lot to do to get Stefani to forgive me. I got her some of her favourite things.

Once I got everything I drove to her place and I hoped that the door was unlocked. It was and that allowed me to move everything inside, thankfully the house was big enough so I knew she wouldn't be able to hear me.