This Is My Life

This is My Life Now

Prologue:

How did I even get here? Bucking beneath this blonde hair bombshell as she's telling me, "Go beyond, PLUS ULTRA!!!!" and climaxes for the third time. The two dorms on either side of me are pounding and the one above me is stomping and seems as though its occupant's foot is going to come through my ceiling. How did I get here indeed? The blonde bombshell is twice my age and the mom of one of my classmates, hell he's one of my best friends, well at least I think so.

There's a pounding at my door, "One more round." She smiles at me and I buck her causing her to arch her back and moan. The pounding continues as do I, it's not my fault honestly kinda just found me.

The door explodes behind her, "OH SHIT!" As the dust clears all I see is a look of horror and his default murderous intent expression. I look at her and then I look at the kid I call my best friend, "Hey Baki."

"Mom?" Bakugō Katsuki, quirk: explosion, he stood there a moment in shock, taking advantage of this I push his mom, Bakugō Mitsuki off the cause of most of my problems including my current one. Within seconds I grab my shorts, along with my grapnel gun and jump out the window. "ROBLES!!!!" I can hear him as I swing down to the ground. It took him several more moments to follow me, no doubt the sight of his nude mother had given me that precious head start.

This is my life now, living the dream most teens my age would only fantasize about in their wildest prepubescent wet dreams. I have a habit, a terrible one at that, of going with my first thought, in this case, soliciting to a newly divorceé whom I lusted after since our first meeting at the UA High Sports Festival. However, let's put a pin on that for now; right now I have to get away, hide and come up with a plan to keep on breathing.

I head to where my life at UA High first began, the preliminary entrance exam grounds. I grapnel up to a building where I can gather my thoughts and evade my pursuer, who is currently going the opposite direction of where I am. How did I even get to this point, everything seems like an end of the world crisis when you are a hormonal orphan teen with the uttermost respect for the thiccness! I guess I should tell you my full name, you already know my last name, Robles. No, you are not reading that wrong, I'm a Japanese born Mexican. My name is Roberto Rodrigo Robles, I am fifteen and a freshman at UA High in Musutafu, Japan, where I was born. This is my story!

1

In an alternate timeline not so different from actual canon.

My mother and father were not from Japan obviously, but rather from across the big drink and two different countries separated by a single river in the southernmost part of Texas, USA. They were both born in small towns and met when my mother got her dual citizenship. She found work and my dad at a local grocer; there was nothing spectacular about how their love began and was all rather cliché. Girl meets guy, they date, fall in love, and get married. I came along soon after they won a trip to Japan, almost immediately on their last day there, mom goes into labor and is rushed to the local hospital. To make my birth even more cliché, she died during childbirth. I know it's the same sob story everyone's heard a million, billion times before big whoop!

Just wait it gets better; my dad decides to stay in Japan since pretty much he had nothing to come back to. His parents were gone, so were my mothers and as surprising as it may sound they had no other extended family to speak of, I know shocking for a Mexican couple! I grew up here in Japan and understand three languages, but speak two fluently (English and Spanish, I shit you not Japanese is so freaking hard to speak!), my Japanese is only good enough to get by despite being born and living here my entire life. Moving on, at the tender age of six I was orphaned. My dad and I just finished watching a movie at the local cinema and had to get to the station to come home. We took a shortcut we had travel a million times before and got mugged. The would-be robber pulled a gun on us, he fired it out of nervousness I guess, and my dad took the bullet protecting me. My life was shattered that day and I snapped. The robber dropped his gun from realizing what he had done. I picked it up and then unloaded on him, killing him.