Numb

"Dont worry about me"

A few weeks had passed when I walked into class and Xavier handed me a black hoodie. "It may be a bit big but it should work. It's going to be under 20 degrease this week so your gonna need it." I thanked him and put it on, it was big enough to completly hide my hands.
After 5th period I went to the bathrooms and skipped the rest of school.
Xavier met me at the creek and we talked. "Where were you?" he said sitting under the leafless overhanging tree "I skipped, I just wasn't feeling it today." I said blandly and tiredly. He looked me up and down, examining me. "You haven't been your normal, hyper self... whats wrong?" I avoided his gaze. "Im fine..." I mumbled. He narrowed his eyes at me. "No your not! Your weak and your eyes are pale. Your skin and bones. I know your not okay." I sighed and looked back up at him. "I haven't eaten in a while... that's all." I leaned my head back on the fence and heaved a shaky sigh. "Why not?" I looked at the ground. "Drunk dad means no money, no money means no food." Xavier looked at me sincerly. "Why do your parents do that to you? You deserve so much better!" I narrowed my eyes. "No I don't, I deserve worse. I just gotta make the best of the situation i'm in, even if it drives me to death." I could see him tense. "It's nothing i'm fi-" suddenly he hugged me. I rolled my eyes and accepted it. "I'm so sorry your life sucks but I can at least try and make it a bit better." I felt his comforting touch and my heart skip a beat. "You- you really care about me..." I said, pulling away and gazing into his wide, understanding eyes. "Of course I do, your my friend and I don't wanna lose you." we gazed at each other for a moment, staring into eachothers eyes. I looked away from him when I realized I was staring and I saw him blush.
The hoodie made the cold seem less cold but it didn't help a lot and I started shivering. Instinctively I pressed against Xavier and layed my head on his shoulder. Eventually I fell asleep in his lap.
   I lifted my head to see two guys infront of me. Xavier hadn't moved and was yelling at them. "Oh look! It's the phsyco herself! Your boyfriend has been defending you but now that your awake, we can fight!" The blonde- Shawn- shoved me, I felt my blood boil at his touch. "DON'T PUSH HER!" yelled Xavier, getting up and shoving Shawn backwards into the creek. "YOUR GONNA PAY FOR THAT." He screamed in response. I watch him pull a blade and get up, I grabbed Xavier's wrist and pulled him to a run. "Split up, dont worry about me, just get to the Quarry and don't look back." I told him. He looked at me and nodded.  I bolted for a house and they followed me. I jumped the fence and got the the other street. I cooled to a walk, thinking I got away but I was shoved by Ryle, and knocked off my feet. "You think you so tough, huh!?" He yelled. I huffed and glared at him. "Let me go! Just tell me what you want." He smiled and pushed me to my feet and forcefully walked me to the woods. "Your sex." I saw Shawn catch up. "If your planing on raping me, good luck." I yanked my hand from his grip with sudden force and punched him square in the nose. I feel him let go and stumble and I make a run for it. I felt a sharp sting across my wrist but I ignore it and make a short cut through the wood thicket to the Quarry. I leap through the thorns onto the rocky, bare ground. Xavier was leaning against the edge of the rise and he shot up and ran to me. "Oh my god, your ali-" I saw his gaze shift to my arm. I felt pain spill over me at the sight of blood draining from my wrist. "We need to get you to my house and fast." I hold my wrist and try and cover the cut with my hand. "Is anyone home?" I asked shakily. He shook his head before grabbing my other wrist and pulling me along with him. When we got to his house he showed me to the sink and washed the blood off my wrist and hands and wrapped my arm up in bandages. He showed me to his room and I sat on the floor with my back against the wall, he was under the covers of his bed and he called Colten and Dusty and told them to come. I started to tremble violently and I felt my head start spinning. I heard a knock on the door and Xavier got up but I decided to stay in the room.
When Colten and Dusty walked in, their eyes filled with shock and Xavier came in behind them. "She looks traumatized, she's trembling and I don't know how to calm her down." He said quickly. Dusty looked at Xavier. "Put her on the bed and don't let her move. She's lost a lot of blood and we don't want her loosing conciseness." He said. Colten stared down at me almost in horror. Xavier picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist and buried my face into his chest, he sat on the bed and held me, rocking me. Dusty and Colten sat on either side of Xavier and me, patting my back. Xavier layed me on the bed and stared down at me for a moment but he broke it and covered me up, I sat up and looked at them. "What happened, Blue?" Asked Xavier. "I jumped some fences, thought I was in the clear, got jumped by Ryle, he threatened to rape me, I got away from him and Shawn stabbed me with a switchblade and I got to the Quarry." They stared at me. "He threatened to rape you!?" Exclaimed Xavier. I nodded and started to tremble at the thought. I felt Xavier get back under the covers and sit up next to me. Dusty and Colten looked at each other. "What are you gonna do? You can't go home, your parents will kill you! You can't stay here, can't stay outside, can't come with me or Dusty." I looked down. "I'll be fine..." "No. my parents are nice and understanding and can support another kid. They will understand but won't get too involved. They will let you stay here with me until you recover, let me call them." Said Xavier. I sat up as he got up. "What? No, Xavier, I don't wanna be-" I was pushed back by Colten, pinning me against the headboard gently. "No. Your gonna stay here. If you don't you may die and we care too much about you to not let you stay." He said. I nodded and sighed. I curled up in Xavier's bed, trying to hold back tears. Xavier came back in. "They said you are allowed to stay as long as you need. They will be back in an hour." He got in the bed with me and held me close, comforting me.
    Colten sat on the bed and looked at me. "Blue... you've... changed... like, completely. Your stubborn to accept help and your not very talkative. Your careful as to what you say, as if your hiding something." Dusty looked at me and nodded. "Yeah... what's wrong? Besides your parents." I looked down shamefully and I sat up. "I... um..." I got out from under the blanket and pulled up my jeans to reveal tons of cuts and scars all over my legs, they all flinched and I pulled them down again. "At night when I go home, I get a knife, lock myself in the bathroom and cut..." I said. Xavier hugged me tightly. "Why?" Asked Dusty. I pulled away from Xavier. "Because... I lost my heart. Jackson took a part of me when he moved. And I try and hide the negativity and sadness." Their gazes dropped. I felt Xavier grab my hand and his hard gaze strike mine like a tsunami hitting a unexpecting kid. "Don't ever, E V E R, cut yourself again, do you understand me?" I gulped as he pinned me. "Hurting yourself won't make anything better. The fact that you draw your own blood with a blade makes me hate myself. Don't ever do it again. Am I clear?" He growled. I nodded, "Y-yes sir.." I stuttered. He rolled off me and I layed my head on his chest he rested his arm on my shoulder.
   "Story time?" Suggested Dusty, trying to change the subject. I saw Colten staring at the ground. "B-Blue... can I talk to you alone?" He asked. I got out of the bed and shakily walked with him out of the room. "You started cutting when we stoped talking, didn't you?" He asked. I sighed and nodded. "You guys kept Jackson off my mind. You filled the hole he left in my heart... not talking to you guys drove me to try and- never mind..." I felt him engulf me in a tight, caring hug. I held back tears. "I'm sorry... we should have never stoped talking with you..." I shook it off. "It's fine, bro." I pulled away from him and we walked back into the room.
   I sat on the bed and Xavier sat next to me, pulling me into his lap. "Okay... Blue, you got any stories?" I looked up shocked from the sudden spot light. "Uh.... when Jackson was still here, we were in his back yard in the pool and we decided to play truth or dare and our friend, Cash, dared me to kiss Jackson... so we did and that's the end of that..." I said. I felt my throat get choked up. I felt a tear run down my cheek and I got off Xavier's lap and under the covers. Xavier got under the covers with me and held me. I pressed into his chest and cried. Dusty and Colten rubbed me, trying to calm me down. "I miss him so much, I loved him I would give my life to see him happy again." I sobbed. I tried to suck it up but I couldn't. I felt Xavier hug me and pull me closer, he kissed my cheek softly, I blushed lightly and finally calmed down. I sat back up and wiped my face. "I have never seen you cry before." Said Colten and I laughed.