It Started With A Kiss

School Days

I lay in bed. 2:30 am. Millions of thoughts are running through my head. It's like tiny pieces of glass piercing my brain and the more I think the worse it gets. It's giving me a headache. My eyes slowly get heavier and heavier, and then I'm out. I'm only 15 but why is life so difficult right now? I think school would have to be the worst. Every day I always feel like I'm constantly being judged. It's as if whatever I do I don't feel comfortable doing it. I feel as though I'm an outcast. It's like I'm a broken toy that can't be fixed and only I can see the cracks.

Every morning is the same. I stay in bed trying to gather some sort of energy to get myself up. Then I usually go straight to the mirror. I see if I can try to make myself look somewhat presentable. Hair in a messy bun, bit of mascara and concealer, pfft good enough.

Breakfast usually consist of me standing in front of the fridge for 5 minutes staring at the mouldy cheese or yoghurt no one has touched because it now has a thin layer of film across the top. Turns out that most mornings I usually go for the safest option, toast.

By this time Mum is hurrying me because if I miss 5 minutes of school she'll spaz. I think she's just like that because of my brother. He dropped out at year 8 and now he has a serious drinking problem and still lives at home even though he is 21 and a full grown adult. Physically not mentally. I try to convince her every day that I won't turn out like him but she still has her doubts. I want to go to university and study Interior design. It has been my dream since I was a little girl. If I can make it I'll be the first in my family to actually complete high school and go to university.

Half a foot out the door and I realise I forgot my phone. if there's one thing a teenager needs to survive high school these days it's social media, music and subway surfers.

"See ya darl don't forget to walk to Nans I'll meet you there at 4:30pm bye. Oh have you got pads and what about some money?"

"Yes I have everything Mum bye!"

As I'm walking I constantly pull my dress down paranoid it will ride up and people will see my shorts. Ding Ding Ding Ding. Bell's gone.

First class, maths. Great I have to hear all about Tanya's sex life and how it was such a huge mistake and she'll always regret it. The whole school gives her crap for it. And don't get me started about how she thought she was pregnant. I mean for the past month all our health teacher has talked about is safe sex and types of contraception. And really, condoms aren't that expensive.

Then there's Vanessa she's mysterious. No one knows if she's smoker or if she's a virgin or even if she's had her first kiss. Last but certainly not least theres Jaqui who always sit's up the back and is just a total bitch to anyone and everyone. All she can talk about is how many guys she has banged and how her first time was in a public toilet. Gross.

As I stand waiting at class for Mr Wenborne to come and unlock the door Jack walks past and he reeks of smoke. He's probably been over at the swamp with all the other no hopers.

As we all walk in to class looking dead Mr Wenborne yells "seating plan everyone!" We all let out a huge sigh. I sit next to Kat. She's really into books. So I don't mind sitting next to her because she's not going to offer me drugs or tell me what it's like to have sex for the first time.

Tyler is up the front next to Jack. Tyler is my best friend. I've known her since I was born. We are practically joined at the hip. She even taught me how to drive a car. She has long curly blonde hair and has nearly every sleazy guy at school after her. But also some gorgeous looking guys too. But she's too oblivious to see that all the guys want her. Jack has shoulder length brown hair and wears heavy black eyeliner. One time he even wore a dress to school. Weird.

Sometimes he slicks his hair back into a pony tail and it reminds me of some guy I saw standing out the back of an abandoned building. He was having a joint with a 13yr old. His shirt was covered in egg. Maybe the one his wife threw at him that morning when she found out he was sharing their weed with strangers.

You could say that I'm pretty average at school. I think Mr Wenborne and every other teacher has given up on our class. There are one or two guys who sit up the front who are really smart. But I don't think they have discovered girls yet because everyone of their Facebook profile pictures is just their cat in a different pose.... Mr Wenborne is yelling at Michael (one of the kid's with the cat pictures) to put away his vapour cigarette. I think he is trying and I mean "trying" to be rebel. While this is going on Vanessa is trying to sneak out the door, Tanya is non-stop talking about what her plans are to ditch next session and Jack is trying to convince Tyler to give him $10 for "bus money".

Finally Recess. You have the whole clique thing at our school. Jocks, nerds, emo/goths, but then there's me. Socially awkward. I have shortish brown hair, blue eyes, I'm medium in height and if you asked me if I had ever been kissed I would say, no. I don't fit into any of the categories.

"Jenna come play footy with me and the boys!" I'm Jenna by the way. "Be there in a sec Tyler."

Then I suddenly remember, Elijah.