Tacenda

Trying to let go

It's 3 PM , Change of plans . I don't know what am feeling right now but I want to collapse from the pain. I told you about him and you gave me the coldest reaction like you don't care. I don't know why I am surprised you made it obvious before that you don't love me back but Inside me I was waiting for "NO STOP TALKING TO HIM" i just wanted to feel like you care even a little bit that you wanted me. I just wanted you to stop me! To the last minute i was clinging into that hope !
I will not use him to move on you. I will not do that to him but also, am not doing this to myself anymore.
I am letting go , I am leaving and don't worry I don't blame you on not loving me back . I am literally tired of the fake hope , i have been waiting for years now. watching you getting in relationships and breakups , having your back through everything. Wishing that you will feel the same . But I guess I have to face reality even if I don't want to , i think it has came to an end, this torture have to stop !
I don't know what i will do without you but it doesn't matter, what could happen more?! i will not feel alive? having you beside me without loving me back and watching you with other girls is also killing me in the most painful way! I am tired of doubting my look ,my character and blaming my self for not loving back.
I just want to tell you I may have lost someone who didn't love me, but you lost someone who truly loved you and wasn't gonna think twice before giving you her life. One day you will realize that I was the one and gonna look back at what we had regretting every single thing you did to let it end and You will search for me in another person. I promise – and you will never find me!
To the one i can't stop loving him but i am letting go leaving part of me with him, please take care of yourself.
I will miss you more than anything my babe!