She lays there night after night thinking do i deserve to live? She doesnt think she does and se just wants to die. No one would care anyways, Everyone hates her. She has no friends and her family hates her. She hasnt talked to her mom in atleast a week if not longer. She just wants to die every day of every week.Will I ever get out of this darkness and into the light. Shes seen people do it, she just knows rock bottom is coming and she just wants to avoid that. But at the same time she doesnt want to and she just wants to die on impact. She gets up from her bed and walks over to the drawer and pulls out her blade and she find a fresh spot on her thigh and she cuts one, two, three and then four the deepest of them all she knows this one will take some time to stop bleeding. she sits there in her bathroom in the tub watching the blood run down her leg. Soon the bottom of the tub is dark red and she knows she has to make it stop so she grabs a towel and applys pressure until it stops and she goes to sleep. She wakes up the next morning and gets ready for school. She gets ready and she leaves for school and the whole time shes thinking this is it. Todays the day. How did things get this bad, she doesnt understand why she hates her self so much. Well actually she does, she completley gets it. Shes gonna do what everyone at school tell her to do every day. She gets to school and sits through first period with things being thrown at ehr and being told to die. She made it through second period planning out what shes gonna do, Third period was use to figure out what to write down and fourth period was writing the letter.
If youre reading this i've gone and done it. I finally did what everyone wants me to do. I know that no one actually cares, I know that people are gonna be happy about this, Hell im happy about this. Tell all the people at school that i finally did something right and tell my mom that now she can do what she wants when she wants and she doesnt have to worry. Tell my dad that he couldve stayed, he didnt have to leave me like that. He couldve actually been a dad instead of walking out on us. And if god forbid there is anyone who cares im sorry for the pain ive put you throught but in reality I dont have to worry about that because NO ONE cares. No one wants me alive so now im gonna do this its gonna be over forever. Im not gonna have to deal with the hatered or the bullying anymore. Ill be safe and ill be peaceful. Sincerely, Jessica
After school she went to her truck and got in the front seat. She reached into her bag and grabbed that blade. She waited for the parkign lot to clear and she did it. She slit her wrist, the light completly fade from her eyes and she was ready. She felt her breaths getting slower. But then she heard banging on the window. It was her first period teacher, the one who laughed at her everyday while she was havign stuff thrown at her. She heard him call an ambulance and then broke her window and opened the door pulling her out of the truck and into his lap. He was trying to apply pressure to her wounds and then she blacked out. Her last thought was "its over now". The ambulance showed up and the hurried her to the hospital. The doctors called her mother and she made her way as fast as she could to the hospital. While she was in the waiting room she kept repeating "How could thid happen, Why didnt i see the signs." But she ignored the signs. She didnt pay attention. She ignored Jessica. She ignored the cries and scars. The times she would scream at 1 in the morning or the fact the Jessica only ever wore pants and long sleve shirts. They took Jessica into the operating room and they were eble to stop the bleeding and repair the cuts. After the surgery Jessica was sedated. When she woke up her mom came in and gave her a hug.
"Honey im sorry I never noticed." Her Mom cried
"No your not mom. I dont want you in here. You didnt care then ad you dont care now." She yelled and the doctors came in and escorted her mom out of the room.
