Perfect Pain

Chapter:03

The scene of the lush green grass and flowers spread on the ground under the blue sky was amazing. The stars were shining brightly. Although I couldn't see the colour of the grass and flowers as it was dark outside but they were so healthy looking that I had to admit it.

I could still hear the loud music played inside but it was no distraction to me. I was lost in my own thoughts.

"Why!? Why do you feel bad every time you see them together?", a voice inside me, spoke, or maybe I asked myself.

"I don't know. I just do. I love him. That's enough for a solid reason!", I was talking to someone inside me. Maybe another part of me or the same part who already got over it.

"What are you doing? They are together for like..2 years now and they love each other too!", I was trying to convince myself.

"I know and I love him too. It's difficult. It's...its just... So painful. It hurts to see him with someone else", I was continuously talking to myself and giving answers to all my questions. I was trying to cover it all up but that was of no use.

"But think wisely you dumbass! You don't want to ruin his life. You don't want to make him realise that it's his fault. You don't want to. Or do you?", the other part of me questioned me.

"No. I don't want to. I just can't resist all this. I have loved him for years and it's getting stronger every second. I love him. I can never forget him."

"You know that right! But you don't have to show them."

"I don't have to and I don't want to."

The two sides of me were arguing inside me. The one, supporting brain, thinking wisely. The other supporting heart, spilling out all the feelings.

The atmosphere was relaxing. The grass, trees, flowers, sky, stars, this all made me emotional and I cried for a long time with my head buried in my knees and my hands wrapped around them. I was sitting on the grass. Alone. Away from all the fun and music.

The feeling was terrible. A terrible blend of love, anger, sadness and pain. Why do I love him so much? Why can't I forget him. Why did it happened to me? Why do I cry when I see him with Suzanne? I can never be with him. We weren't meant for each other.

He had a love story. Consisting of a perfect guy and a perfect girl, creating a perfect story. And if I do something wrong that makes him realise my feelings, I'll be the bad person then. A villain. I can't be the bad person in their perfect story.

Somehow, I realised that I was being selfish. I loved him and it doesn't mean that he has to love me too. He isn't bound to do that. I love him, he love someone else. That's it. End of story.

I was continuously trying to get myself over all this but I knew that somehow, somewhere there's a little part inside me that could never forget him. That can't stop loving him. No matter how hard I try.

"You okay?", a voice spoke from behind. I looked up, unwrapping myself from my arms. I turned around. There was a guy standing behind me and looking at me.

He was a good looking lad. A good built. A touch of greyish blue in his eyes. Black hair, straight. He had a fair complexion on which pinkish lips were placed perfectly. His height was about 5"8'.

"Umm yeah! I'm good", I turned around again at my previous position to wipe away my tears.

"So? Why are you here?", he said, sitting beside me.

I gave him a what-do-you-mean-by-this look.

"I mean you're here, alone, not enjoying the party?!", he sensed what I meant.