Sander Sides Angst Book

~Chapter 1~ Nightmares

roman speech is this:

logan speech is this:

{~warning! A bit of self-deprecation, nightmares, judgement, panic attack, mention of hell, and a bit of hatred.~}

~Here we go!~

it's dark. I look around me, and I can see everything, but I cannot move my body. I am engulfed in a color that is somehow darker than black, and it feels like I'm paralyzed. I can't move at all. I can see out for Miles, yet I feel like I'm trapped in a box. There is no gravity, so I'm not falling, but floating instead. there is no air, there is nothing. am I dead? I can't feel my heartbeat, and I'm not breathing either, yet I am clearly alive. I don't understand this place. Maybe it's a form of hell? Most likely not. My alarm goes off, and I wake up be grudgingly. I thought I sent it to 3 p.m, not am. I got out of my bed, stretch, and walk over to my computer. I sit down, and begin working. I was supposed to do this project a week ago, and it is due tomorrow, and somehow I've lost track of it. I'm always usually prepared with these things, is something wrong? I pushed out of my mind and continue working.

~7 am~

I finally finished the work, and send it to my main account, so I can send it too the person I've made it for later. I checked the time, and realize it is 7 already. I get out of the chair, put on my normal clothing along with the hoodie, {because I am cold} and walk downstairs. unsurprisingly, I'm the first one up. I make my tea, walk out of the kitchen, sit on the couch, pull out and look at 'memes' on my phone. There are certain things that Virgil and patton had suggested me, so I thought I'd try them out. I hear Roman quickly running down the stairs, saying happily, and loudly:

"I did it! I did it! I'm the first one up! Finally I'm-"

I smirk, and interrupt his happy moment when he reaches the last step.

"the second one up? Is that what you were trying to say?"

Roman looks at me with shock at first, and then it morphs into annoyance, and a slight bit of hatred.

"I thought you were asleep! What do you do, live down here?"

"I live in this house, and this is the part of the house, so technically I do."

Roman rolls his eyes, and then sits directly next to me leaning into me, looking at what I'm doing on my phone.

"what'cha doin?"

"looking at my phone. also, don't you mean 'what are you doing?' use proper grammar, please."

"whatever. What are you looking at on your phone?"

"websites."

"and what are you looking at on those websites?"

"images."

"just tell me what you looking at, cyber-life!"

Romans annoyance clearly grew, and this just made me smirk. honestly, it was kind of funny watching him whenever he was annoyed.

"I did."

"ugh! You're so annoying! why can't you just tell me like a normal person, and not like a robot?!"

Roman screamed quite loudly, got up from the couch, and then stormed off. I was used to this, but for some reason, it hurt me more that time. it seemed to be filled with more than just anger, like a deeper feeling, and I only got negative vibes from the feeling, most likely meaning it was when I'd seen in his face earlier. hatred. Maybe I am annoying.. maybe I'm too much of a robot.. maybe.. if I could just feel feelings.. I would be normal. Probably not, but maybe.

~Time Skip!~

It was around dinner time when I had went back upstairs. all the other sides were cleaning up and talking, and I did not feel like chatting to them anymore. I went inside my room, shut the door, and just froze. everything was different, and I walked in in the middle of it changing. the walls and floor were the the color that was darker than black, my furniture was melting into the color, there were cracks and holes in what was left of my wall, and I was floating like in the dream. there was no air. there was no gravity. there was nothing. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. I can feel tears streaming down my face, but I couldn't feel them coming from my eyes. Scratch that, I couldn't feel them, I could only see them. but yet again, I could see everything around me. the door was gone, everything was gone, and white dots appeared. Wait those aren't white dots. They were eyes.

oh God, they were eyes.