Sanity

How did you sleep?

It was instantaneous, like being there from nowhere. It was like the big bang as I’ve imagined: the beginning of everything, but just without the bang, no fireworks and all, not a shimmer of light at all.

I had no memory, or recollection of what I was or am, but I was able to comprehend myself. I recalled language and structure, the asymmetry of everything that caused form and distinction. I recalled life, but didn’t even wonder if I was living, alive, or existing. I had no senses per se, that at least is what I have comprehended. I do however hear my own thoughts, but can’t conceive of anything with form or feel any vibrations at all. I must have been with senses once, as I recall and seek out those synapses, or I may still have them, and maybe there isn’t anything left to be sensed.

There are a lot of possibilities, and I’ve gone through all of them timelessly, without time, as it may no longer exist or as it may be that I no longer exist within the confines of it. Not even energy, not even gravity, not even mass, size, or space, I seem to be within a vast infinite void, and I seem to be that vast infinite void. There isn’t a waste of time nor space, as what is wasted if nothing is of value. What is of value in the void, for the void, and of the void?

I kept seeking and constructing finite thoughts until some of the thoughts begin to glimmer and as little as a sparkle within the infinite was seen. SEEN! Sight?

What I was once, as I thought, as the void, but this void suddenly felt a surge of a finite energy extremely powerful, as it was the only thing with the attached concept of power, that what was infinite momentarily felt and identified as that very finite sparkle, simultaneously seeing the sparkle and being the sparkle, drawn more into being and becoming, it forgets, and dreamt of more finite sparkles until it forgot, but it didn’t.

The finite just happened and forgot of the infinite, and hence, it existed, but the infinite was still infinite; the void was still the void.