Internet Connection

Ch1. Founding

It was a day like any other, wake up, go to school, come home and study. Everyday seemed boring to the teenager who lived his life with the same routine. Until one day, he stumbled upon a game through his friend. The game differentiated from the ones he had previously played; it wasn't his style at all. It had to do with chatting, creating rooms, collecting clothing, dressing up your own character, just like an average life, except in this game, you can be whoever you want to be. He no longer went by his real name, he created a different persona on it, in order to mask away the faults, he had harbored. But that didn't end well.

"Are you logging on today?" His friend, who he found the game through, asked. Due to the fact that he was unfamiliar with the game, he didn't create an account for himself, he only played on the account his friend already has, so because of this, his friend (Who is also his little crush), couldn't go on as frequently as she used to. Instead, he was playing in her stead. Through the account which did not belong to him, he met new people, though they were miles and miles away from him, it didn't matter. He became fond of the game and soon enough, regularly logged on. But since he still did not own the account, it was hard to come on since his friend was also a regular player. So he decided to create one of his own.

Through the new account he had made, he befriended the ones he met on the previous account instantly. Suddenly, the boring everyday life he once had, was now filled with joy. He thought to himself, I'm glad I got onto this, but that thought soon was yanked away by his own mind. He spent countless hours on it, talking, chatting, creating new friends. That's when his anxiety began to act up and he realized, he was getting way too attached. He tried to stay off of it for a while, by not logging on, ignoring messages, but he still couldn't get it out of his head. He knew he became addicted to it already.

So once again, he logged back on, hoping the heavy feeling in his chest would disappear. But to no avail. It stayed there, continuously growing heavier. Why? What if they abandon me? What if they suddenly don't want to be my friend anymore? Do they even like me? Thoughts like these floated around in his mind constantly and even though he didn't want to feel this way, he couldn't help it. So he tried reaching out to one of his friends online, since he felt closer to them than the ones he physically had out in his life.

But before he could type out what he wanted, he stopped in his tracks. Would they even care? He didn't want to burden anyone with the feelings he had, so he kept it all to himself, even though the feeling in his chest continued to grow in weight. But he brushed that feeling off quickly and gave himself a chance. A chance to be happy. 

He always hated the fact that he had to log off. But of course, you need to go back to reality.Back in his real life, his grades were outstanding, he had good friends (Quite popular too, actually), financially stable, yet he still used the game as a way to escape all that. Everyone would die for his position and he has heard that himself countless times. But to him, living in reality was something he'd rather not do. His courses bored him, they were too easy, he knew the people around him were fake with their actions, it was obvious. He felt that there was something missing and he thought the game would be able to provide what he's looking for. 

Everyday, he'd log on, each time it would be longer. Sometimes, he'd actually not log off until the morning. It was because he was finally happy.  So he kept to it, hiding his identity, greedily taking up relationships. Then, they became curious. About him. He hated talking about himself, because of course, he hated himself. But he didn't want to say that, since people felt bad and tried to console him about his personality. But whenever they tried, all he heard was lies. Something that they have to say because they're his friends. So he tried to shut everyone off, when they came too close, when they found out a part about him that he didn't want people to know, he cut them off. Then it was too much. The heavy feeling in his chest, grew to his limbs and his whole body, up to his mind. He couldn't take it. So he ran away.

He ran away from his problems, without explaining himself, because if he ran away from them and they began to hate and detest him, it would be better. It would be easier to forget him. But he couldn't forget. Of course, heart broken as he was, he continued to run and he kept running. Running away was the only solution he came to. Acting as the bad guy, he intentionally hurt those around him who refused to give up. He hurt those and made sure they thought he didn't want them in his life. He would rather hurt himself than let the ones he love hurt.

But running away became too much, so he was stuck at a standstill. He began anew. Went back onto the game, created another Persona. Created another name. Made new friends, but he missed those he was with before. With this chance he created, he thought he could start over with them, make things right. Except, his past kept haunting him. It kept being brought up. He was found out. So once again, he ran away. Without explaining, only letting them think what they want. They deserve an explanation at least, he thought, so here he goes, wanting to try to get out his message that he couldn't convey so long ago.