Internet Connection

Ch.2 Bliss

{All of it will be told in his POV}

When I first met you, you had two names you went by. Some called you Lori, others called you Pen. I was confused, I thought to myself, why is she making it so obvious she has two different personalities? But that wasn't what you were trying to show at all. People called you those names because they chose it for you and you simply complied. Truth be told, I wanted to be someone like you for a long while. You made friends easily, you don't care what others think, you do whatever you want to. If I couldn't be somewhat like you, I wanted to befriend you and so I did.

At first, we weren't close, we only saw each other in other game rooms and said hi, we normally didn't dive into deeper conversation after our greetings. But I regret that, not becoming closer to you earlier. On nights I couldn't sleep, you would stay up and talk with me. On days I feel like absolute shit and want to rant, you always listen to every word I say. Sometimes, you blank off, but that's quite understandable considering I talk endlessly.
When I decided to create a new person, a new me, I did something that would torment you. I asked you to lie for me so I won't get caught. I never knew you were such a bad liar, but you helped me anyway, even when you knew it was wrong. From then on, we had closure and we still keep in touch. There isn't anybody else I'd have as an Internet best friend.

The times I log on, you respect my wishes, if I want to be left alone, you leave me be. You understand my jokes, you understand where my boundaries are, you just somehow complete one part of me. I felt horrible for making you lie, it was an annoyance to you. So I'm sorry. I love flirting with you, not that I like you like that (which we both indicated were just for jokes), you make me laugh and smile constantly. So that's why I came to you first whenever I tried to disappear. There were no problems with you. Sometimes, I see notifications on my phone from you. I wanted to reply right away, but I knew i'd get too attached. Then I started to reply right away, because I thought that if it was you, then it's okay to be so clingy.

I saw you as this glowing person, who only radiated happiness, but one night, you finally opened up some of your thoughts to me. About things that have hurt you and about things that are hurting you. I realized that just because it seems like you were happy all the time, it didn't meant you actually were. I wanted to help you, just as you've helped me through so many things. In a way, you were my pillar. If I knew you were still there, then i'd be okay. I knew there would be someone there I could call up when times got rough. Just by your presence alone, i was in a state of bliss.

I often forgot that it was a virtual game that we were both playing on, it felt much more than that. It felt as though we met out in the real world. But unfortunately, we did not. Though you're younger than me, you make me forget our age difference as well. I'm afraid of telling you things now though. Maybe the things I tell you about myself will make you not want to stay by me anymore. Maybe it will change your perspective on me and the relationship that I treasure will be taken away by my own words. It's not like i'm doubting you, you've already shown me what kind of person you are and that you'd still stay. But in the end, we never know the outcome.

The game has gotten quite boring whenever you aren't online and that's because there's really no one else I could come to when I want to laugh and have a good time. I mean, making friends online is easy, but the one friend I want is you. Sounds cliche, right? It's all true. The way you make me feel always draws me back to you and it always has me being patient, waiting for that red button to switch to green, telling me you're online. Always. I can't be too close to you though, because if I do, soon enough others will find out the truth that only you know. But you'll always be the one person I'd always go to when I'm feeling down. You know how to make me smile. You should make yourself smile. Have I thanked you yet? I don't think I have. Thank you for continuing to support me and love me. Thank you for continuing to be my best friends. Thank you in general, for everything that you've done for me. Now it's my turn. Let me spoil you a little.
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Hello, DearA here. I'm pretty sure many of you are confused by the structure of my story. Let me explain. The prologue and the first chapter were just an introduction into how the character grew to become obsessed with the game. Since my character is someone who is close minded and normally doesn't express his thoughts, I've created it so each chapter is dedicated to specific friends he has made online and how his thoughts, actions, etc are about/for them. Any further questions may be answered in PM  ❤️
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