smiles . jeongchan

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"Everyone says it's wrong."

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Jeongin woke up the next morning to the sounds of people talking. One was clearly his father, but the other seemed to be a woman. Jeongin figured it was the "guest" from last night.

Jeongin sighed and walked to his closet. He grabbed out a pair of ripped jeans and white t-shirt. He put Chan's hoodie in his backpack and waited patiently on his bed.

After a while, which seemed like an eternity for the small boy, a knock was heard at his door. Jeongin stood and heard his father's voice, so he quickly opened it.

His father stepped into the room and Jeongin gave him a weary smile, "M-morning Father."

Jeongin's father shook his head, "What did I say about stuttering?"

Jeongin gulped harshly and his breath grew unsteady. Jeongin's father lifted his hand and laid a harsh slap onto the redhead's face. Jeongin winced in pain and fell to the ground, his hand shooting to the spot in which he was just hit.

The younger felt tears prick at his eyes, but he couldn't cry. The stinging sensation of the slap clouded his senses and his ears began to ring.

Jeongin swallowed down the dreadful feeling of hate his father was throwing his way. His father scoffed and began walking out the room, "I won't be home tonight. I don't care if you aren't here. Take your worthless ass to school so I don't have to deal with anything."

"Yes sir," Jeongin let out. Once he heard the front door close, Jeongin broke down into sobs. He quickly grabbed Chan's hoodie and threw it over his head, hugging it tight to his chest. He held onto the light gray hoodie like it was his lifeline.

After a while, the boy calmed down and went about his daily routine, all the while thinking about how awful and stupid he was.

Mother left me.

Father hates me.

I hate me.

Everyone hates me.

Jeongin walked out his house with a heavy chest and shoulders feeling as though they would break from how heavy the weight of his self conscious was. 

The young boy walked down the sidewalk, trying to build his mask up quickly.

He smiled. It didn't feel right. He skipped happily. It didn't make him feel happy. He saw a bird and waved at it. Oh how he wanted to fly away. He gripped onto his backpack straps and kept his smile.

It's falling.

It's all falling.

Everyone can see through it.

I'm not happy.

I don't want to keep going.

It's still falling.

Why won't it stop falling?

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410 words; 4.5.19
edited.

another short chapter. hopefully the next will make up for it.

thoughts?