SOUL TIES! ( bnha ).

(1).

The noon feels dusty.

Soft yellow seeping through curtains, heat fading into the air surrounding him. It feels dusty, the warmth has a feeling of heaviness tangled into it.

Ryunnosuke sleeps, the sun's waves kissing his face through the curtains. A song plays, echoing into his room, echoing into something then into nothing. The song continues, and continues, until it fades into nothing, then the sudden world falls back to him.

The world fills his ears in his slumber.

His eyes open slowly, blinking at the brightness the sun radiates.

A sigh leaving his lips, his body twisting around in his bed. The sun won't leave, it bothers him.

Even when his eyes are closed, he can still see the brightness.

Ryunnosuke.

He can hear the love in her voice, through the door he can feel her arms already around him.

Coming in, okay?

Ryunnosuke can feel her already, the warmth in her hands wrapping around his tiny body.

He doesn't answer, he doesn't say anything to her when she lays beside him. Ryunnosuke doesn't say anything because he didn't know now.

You're sad again.

(I am, do something, do anything).

Ryunnosuke cries when the words leave her mouth, his mother always made him cry with the love she carried.

The warm yellow starts to fade into an orange, then into a darkness that surrounds them on the wall he's been staring at.

He doesn't know how long they've been there, or how long he's cried, but he hears the thump of his heart in his ears, it's deafening.

Please, please, please, if you ever feel like this again - don't be afraid to do something about it.

(I don't think how to do anything without any help).

okay, Ryunnosuke says to her instead. His body twisting to stare at her.

A smile plastered on her face, always a smile.

Ryunnosuke doesn't smile back. It'd be a lie if he did, because a smile meant feeling something that wasn't the truth - it always left him with regret clinging to his insides. He never liked regret, or the untruthful smiles, or anything green, but sometimes he always had to do things that made him feel like he had to share an untruthful smile with someone, untruthful smiles always lead to regret.

Ryunnosuke sighs, his hands lifting him up to sit. His back hitting the wall, and his legs crossing. She lays, her eyes lingering where he once was.

It isn't healthy for someone so young to feel like this, her voice sounds hard, anger lacing itself with the tenderness in it.

There's nothing I can do, people always feel sad.

Ryunnosuke knows she's upset, her voice always hardens when she is, mixing itself with the tenderness. He finds himself staring at anything but her, because he knows it's not what she wants to hear.

Mom, sadness is always with people.

But you're too young!

(He hates her, he hates her, he hates her, he hates her, he hates her, (he doesn't)).

Ryunnosuke doesn't say anything after, her voice lingers in his heart, the sharpness cutting holes in it.

Ryunnosuke feels like she doesn't understand, or maybe he doesn't understand.

You're only a kid - a boy - kids should feel happy, they should be happy.

Maybe I don't want to be happy!

He spits it at her. The truth always hurt, right? The truth is supposed to hurt the one hearing it, right? So, why does he feel like he's the one being hurt?

Silence surrounds them, his heart feels loud.

Ryunnosuke wonders if she can hear it.

Her voice cuts through the silence, I'm sorry it was you.

She leaves like she was never really there, her words hanging in the air, lingering in the darkness she left him in.

The noon felt dusty, heavy with something unpleasant.

──────

He lays down when the sound of his heart becomes to unbearable.

He lays with his knees tucked into him, his arms wrapping around himself. Ryunnosuke lets the darkness shallow him up, he's too tired to let the light in.

Ryunnosuke closes his eyes, thoughts spiraling around him.

Regret starts to form, there's a drop in his stomach that leaves him feeling something. It begins clinging to his heart first, spreading itself around it, covering it in a distant resentment towards himself that'll grow to reach him. Regret spreads itself all over him, everywhere, and his body holds himself tighter.

(I'm sorry it was you, he wonders why, why this and why that, why him and never others, he feels sorry for himself because it was him).

He whimpers, regret never stopping, never leaving.

He lets himself quiet down, his hands reaching for his heart, Ryunnosuke feels it pounding when his hand meets his chest.

There is no silence, just static.

──────

Ryunnosuke wakes up with her hand pushing his hair back, her hand gently waking from his slumber. He picks himself up, her hand falling from his head.

She still smiles.

Ryunnosuke tells her he'll be fine on his own, before he leaves the room, his steps fading away into nothing.

He's wondering if she's still smiling.

Ryunnosuke walks quietly to the kitchen, breakfast already spread out on the small table - ozoni, yuzu, and iyokan - two bowls placed across from each other, orange juice on one end, and green tea on the other.

He walks towards the table, a rumble in his stomach makes him smile softly.

He never liked yuzu, the citrus taste was sour, tingling in his mouth.

But he always ate it in spite of not liking it, maybe because it was her favorite, or maybe he liked the sour taste (but he highly doubts its the taste though).

He prefered iyokan, it had a sweet-sour taste, he always liked when the taste lingered in his mouth. The sour would fade into a sweetness - it always made him feel warmth inside.

Ryunnosuke sits on his end, picking his chopsticks to begin his meal.

Thank you for the meal.

He says it to her, he can hear the smile on her face grow from a distance. Ryunnosuke lets himself smile, warmth filling their quiet house.

(Ryunnosuke smiles, an untruthful one).

[notes: ryunnosuke is seven years old here. the relationship he has with his mother will give you a look into what his mind has become because of her actions of worry and sorrow. there's something missing between them, i gave you hints in this chapter. i hope you enjoyed it!]

clarification: italics are them speaking, the brackets are his thoughts!