just some randon writings & ideas

stress - chris evans

warnings: lots of crying, fluff
word count: 1661

I take off my glasses and rub my face. I sigh heavily before whimpering and dropping my head on the desk.

"I don't understand this..." I whimper, nearly sobbing.

I was currently studying for my math exam. I was so stressed out because I couldn't understand this one topic that just so happens to be one of the most important.

I've watched millions of videos and read my textbook over and over. I still can't comprehend it.

I so desperately just want to stop, throw all these papers in the trash and give up but I know I can't. i have to pass this exam, i have to get a good score, i need to be the best.

I lift my head and wipe away my tears taking a deep breath.

I put my glasses back on and pick my pencil up.

As I'm trying to solve an example problem I hear the front door open. It was Chris. I look at the time, I guess it was a long day today.

"Baby? Are you still awake?" I heard his voice carry through the hallway from the living room.

I didn't reply, instead continuing to solve the problem in front of me.

I could hear his feet padding against the floorboards but I still didn't reply.

My face was starting to hurt from how hard my brows furrowed, I only kept becoming more and more frustrated.

I heard the door creak and the sweet voice of my boyfriend, "Hey sweetheart. What're you doing still up? It's kind of late."

"Studying." I say flatly. I was not in the mood to bothered right now.

"Oh. But it's late, you should rest. Knowing you you've been studying since you got home I'm sure you'll do amazing." he said coming up behind me and placing his large hands on my shoulders.

"No I can't. I need to get it all right. I need to understand everything. I have to." I say moving my shoulders hoping he'd take them off and let me study but he didn't.

He sighs and spins my chair around, kneeling in front of me.

"Babe. you have to relax. You're gonna do great I know you are. All you do is study and-"

I cut him off, "Chris you don't understand. I don't need to do great I need to do amazing! I need to be one of the best. And if you're gonna keep bothering me just leave."

My harsh words obviously take a toll on him as I see hurt flash in his gorgeous blue eyes.

He doesn't say anything and stands back up. I close my eyes and place my head in my hands as I hear the room door close shut.

I try to continue my studying but all I can think of how I hurt chris. The person I trust my life with, the person i love with all that i am, and i hurt him.

Tears prick at the corners of my eyes, my throat burning.

Everything hits me all at once and I lose it. I start crying silently, hoping chris won't hear me.

All of my stress hits me like a truck and I can’t stop it. I cry for a couple minutes before wiping my face dry and stepping out of the room to find chris.

I step into the living room and look into the kitchen but he isn't there. The bathroom was also empty when the I passed by it.

Tears yet again fill up my eyes as I believe he actually left.

Then I remember one spot I haven't checked. I practically sprint towards the stairs at the back of the house.

These stairs lead to our favorite spot to either be together or in some cases be alone.