His Nose Was So Large Up Close

Chapter One

"RINGO YOU CLOD," John shouts, "WHY AM I TIED UP ON THIS TREE?!"

"You said you wanted to get a good view of the sky huehuehuehuehuehuehue," Ringo answers with a laugh, using an arm to shield his eyes from the sun as he glances upward at John dangling in the tree.

In the meantime, Paul is occupied crossdressing as a granny in a familiar house, which enjoyed him. His articulate hands hit black and white as he is playing When I'm Sixty-Four on a piano. What a great afternoon, and use of his well-earned break time.

John narrows his eyes and cut away the ropes. Falling down off of the tree, his head bangs on the ground. He get up and rubs it, cursing to himself.

"That's what you get for bullying me you piece of shit" Ringo scoffs as he takes a step towards John. His nose is so large up close, bobbing up and down as he snickers.

"Y'know John, if you weren't always so busy screaming with Yoko y'know, that wouldn't have happened y'know," Paul nagged as if John were in the room with him- which he wasn't. Paul nags on anyway, stops When I'm Sixty-Four and starts playing Martha My Dear. Ringo and John then enter the house as John continues to glare at the drummer. Ringo tries to pretend he didn't just stuff him in a tree. Ringo walks over to Paul on the piano, resting his arm on its top and sighing.

"Paul uhh why you playing that song, isn't it about beastiality?" he asked, looking at Macca disappointedly. Paul halts his song. After a long moment, he slowly turns his head to Ringo, bearing an expression that can only be described as 'owo'. Ringo flinches backwards, clearly repulsed.

"Oh no. Paul's a furry," he mumbles in alarm.

"Y'know, I thought that was clear enough already Richard, y'know?" Paul purrs, closing his eyes in an 'uwu'.

"I'm Ringo :(," Ringo replies sadly. "It was... I just denied it."

"I knew it, Paul! That's why you were always gone during those furry conventions!" John shouts, cradling his injured head.

"Y'know Richard, the crash wasn't your fault y'know... You have to let Ringo go y'know," Paul says gently but prophetically.

"Since when did Paul go to furry conventions?" Ringo asks, undaunted by Paul's ominous comment. Paul stares back at him blankly.

"You have to let all of us go, Richard... It was dark and the fog was so thick, y'know..."

"Let us go, y'know..." Paul seemed to trail off. Ringo shivers, beginning to sweat.

"Are we in limbo?" Before Ringo was answered, the room suddenly empties. Nobody is there but Richard; he is alone... And then, a knock on the door. Trying not to screech in confusion, Ringo walks to the door and opens it. Outside there is a short ugly japanese woman. She doesn't say anything other than

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

"Wh-who are you?" Ringo asks shakily. The woman keeps screaming, and Ringo is now so scared that his nose quivers.

"Ma'am?" In the blink of an eye, another woman appears behind the first, and she also starts screaming.

"Oh gOD," Ringo exclaims. Before he knows it, he is surrounded by Yokos. All screaming in unison. Ringo makes a dash for an escape, but trips over a fallen Yoko. He falls, and keeps falling... and falling... and falling...

. . .

Suddenly, Ringo wakes up in bed. Yoko is in the corner of the room, screaming what appears to be The Nutshack opening.

"Bloody hell John, I told you to not let Yoko in the rooms to be a bloody alarm clock," Paul complains.

"SHUT UP PAUL YOU DONT UNDERSTAND LOVE" John yells back. Ringo starts to cry from the horror, surely now traumatized.