Lovely Struggles

Taste Of His Chapstick

Started writing: 29/3-2019
Published: 30/3-2019

I had taken a day off from school, not because what happened yesterday - which was tuesday. School just wasn't that important to me, I had average grades. My mom hadn't come home since tuesday, she probably stayed over at her sister because she lived only 10 minutes away from us. I was preparing myself to go out, I couldn't stay inside with such clogged air. I once again put on my black sneakers and this time I already had the keys in my backpocket, I didn't mind taking my jacket.

"Hey, hey hey!" my stepdad shouted from the living room chair, this time he wasn't all wasted on the kitchen floor. "I don't wanna talk" I said and pushed down the door handle. I opened the door and stepped out on the pavement. I wonder why he tried to talk when I was going out. "Rachel, wait. Hold up" 

I turned around with the door opened. "What? I'm not going to the store" I told him. "I want to say sorry" he said when he reached the doorframe. "Excuse accepted, go back to your worthless life" I closed the door on him but he swung it open again before I had walked more than a meter. "I love you, Rachel. More than your mom would ever do" I stopped. The first three words didn't trigger me, but the last punched a nerve. I turned around. "Dad said so too, now where is he when I need him?" I said and shrugged like I didn't care, I turned and continued walking. He didn't say anything more because I could hear the door shut hard. 

- 

"Hey Porter!" I shouted as I walked in the police station. "Found something?" I asked him. Porter came up to me with his police uniform on, also with a serious face on. "Rachel, susch" Porter said and dragged me into his office which was around the corner. He closed the door. "What?" I asked with curiosity. "You can't just be asking that, while shouting! The case closed more than a year ago, and I can't even share this stuff with you" he asked with his hands tough on my shoulders. "And then there's that thing" I looked down and giggled. He smiled and put his lips against mine. He pulled away. "I'm most afraid of that one, because you know, you're underage" I smiled when he said that, don't know why but I did.

"Porter Drant!" a loud voice shouted from outside his office. "Shit" he said and grabbed his gun that was on the desk in his office. "See you later, cafe Bonne at 4 PM" he said and kissed me on the cheek. Then he went out the door and left me. I soon went out too.

-

I sat on a chair that was connected with a round table at the cafe he told me to meet him at. I was stomping lightly with my foot. My phone plinged, a message from someone unknown. It read;

« Come to the boys bathroom » 

I thought about who it could be, it could be one of my friends but I already had their number. 

« Who are you? »
I replied. The person who had messaged me went minutes without replying.

« Someone who wants to say sorry? I'm not a creep I swear, I just saw you at the cafe and decided I needed to talk to you. But the problem was I didn't have your number. Just, please. » 
The person had replied, but I already knew who it was so I went up from my chair and sneaked in to the boys bathroom. 

I looked around for someone to be there, and there was. Prescott stood in the left corner and waited.

"Rachel" he said and put his hands in his front pockets. I stood still. He was about to say something but only air came out, so he came closer to me. "I'm not mad at you" I said with my arms crossed. "Well, that I knew" he said.

"Then why did you text me saying you wanted to say sorry?" I asked. "It was mostly just bate..." he said and fidgeted with his foot. 

I was standing in front of the door when I heard footsteps coming closer. "Shit!" I said. "No one can see me in here, it would be so embarassing!" I opened my eyes wide and waved my hands. "Yeah wait, I'll take care of it" he said before he pushed me against the wall beside the door and put his lips on mine. I didn't know what was happening, it was just so confusing. I closed my eyes. His lips separated and so did mine, his lips were soft and I could taste the chapstick he had put on. He really went in with all tongue and that, he even started pushing me into the wall more and more. I didn't really know if I enjoyed it or not, but most of me did.

The door opened with a grip and me and Prescott continued, till the guy said; "This is why I have a laptop". He pulled back slowly and I opened my eyes. He smirked. I looked lost in his face. "Omg, I'm so sorry. This was a mistake" I said and went out of his grip to reach the door. I grabbed the handle and pulled it.

"Rachel, wait" Prescott said after I went out of the bathroom. I turned around with a little tear in my eye, but it wasn't that noticeable. "Wanna grab a drink someday?" he asked. I couldn't believe what he said, either he was stupid as heck or he just couldn't come up with something to say. Either way, I hated him so much right now. I shaked my head without saying anything and turned around and left. I went to look for the table I had just sat in before Prescott told me to come, but it was taken by a guy who looked down at his phone. I sighed until I noticed who it was, it was Porter himself. He looked up and smiled, laying his phone on the table. 

"How long have you been sitting here?" I asked when I sat down in front of him, thinking he saw me leaving the boys bathroom with Prescott right behind me. "I've been here for a while, waiting for you" he said and put his hand on the table, reaching for mine. I smiled and let my hand just melt into his. "Porter" I said and looked in his eyes then on the table. "Do you think people like, know about our relationship?" I asked. He let out a little laugh. "I mean yeah, they might have their suspicions but, I don't think they know. Why?" he asked and smiled. "Don't you like think.." I said and Porter listened. "Don't you think that people need some sort of, I don't know... distraction?" I said. "Distraction? So they don't know about us?" he said and I nodded. "Yeah, like if I had a boyfriend, OR girlfriend, they wouldn't even have any suspicions, right?" I said. Porter looked down and licked his lips wet. "This is why I love you" he said and my face lit up. "You're so smart" he said and lifted up my hand and gave it a little smoosh. I smiled and so did he.

Over some tables I could see Prescott staring at me, with a disappointed face. Then he turned away, and so did my happy face.

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