Titaliya

Chapter 1

She had her eyes closed the entire time. From the second his white SUV left the Shantivan grounds, he drove like a mad man. He knew of her fear, yet he never slowed down.

"Arnavji," she said softly.

"Shut up," came his harsh reply.

After that she didn't open her mouth. It was always like this with him. Euphoria or misery. Love or hatred. There was never the pleasantness of a middle ground.

The SUV screeched to a stop, and she opened her eyes. They were in front of a temple. In the middle of nowhere. First Shyam, and now this.

Jeeji has to get married, she reminded herself. Anything was worth Payal's happiness. Especially because Khushi had ruined it the last time.

He got out of the car and slammed the door closed. She stepped out hesitantly, stumbling over the long skirt of her lehenga. He didn't look back and headed up the few stairs to the temple.

There was no priest. There were no people. It was a place that looked to be the home of ghosts than gods. She couldn't believe she was getting married in such a desolate place. Even the idol of Devi Mayya was neglected, covered with cobwebs and dust.

He took out the mangalsutra and tied it around her neck. Unceremoniously, before she had a chance to even prepare herself for it. It didn't feel like a marriage. It felt like a punishment. The mangalsutra around her neck felt like a mark of shame.

Sindoor was placed on her forehead, and before she knew it she was in the car again. She was in shock. The man beside her was a monster. She was too in shock to even fear the speed at which they went back home.

What would her parents say? Her poor Babuji, her Amma. She couldn't tell anyone the truth. She didn't completely understand it herself.

She looked at the man beside her. He looked the same as the first day they met. Heartless, arrogant, and a stranger. It was like nothing had ever existed between them. Not friendship, not memories, and certainly not love.

He probably never loved me, Khushi thought. She had started to dream of marrying him, yes, but not like this. She'd dreamed of a mandap and their family smiling as they went through all the rituals. She dreamed of happiness and content. This... this was hell.

Shantivan was in front of them, and the mansion had never looked so terrifying. Decked out in gold and silver, twinkling with all the wedding finery, the house was about to be shaken to its core.

They stepped through the main door and she saw her Jeeji first. Happy and laughing one second, frozen the next. Everyone gathered around her. Arnavji stood beside her like a statue. She was the only vulnerable. She was the only one they could hurt.

Hurt her they did. With their words, with the palm of Amma's hand. Her head hurt from the crying and her heart from the insults. She took refuge by the poolside, as far as she could get from her so-called husband. It was cold and dark, all the things she feared most. But she had new fears now. The dark could be chased away with the flick of a switch, the lighting of a candle. But Arnav Singh Raizada was a more tangible fear, and hell-bent on ruining her life. 

She knew the family wouldn't forgive her easily, if they did at all. In six months, she would have nowhere to go. The worst thing, she felt blind. She knew nothing. Why she had been forced to marry Arnav. Why he was suddenly treating her like dirt.

She knew some part of the answer. He treated her like that because he could. He was the great ASR. He broke Lavanya's heart on the day they were supposed to be engaged. He forced her to go to an abandoned building, where perhaps she might have met a sooner and more merciful death than the pain she was going through now. He was ruthless, because he could be. Because he had money.

Khushi wondered for the first time if her life would've been different with the wealth she turned down as a child. Her Jeeji would've been married in Lucknow itself. She would've never had to go door to door selling sarees and earning the nickname Phati Saadi. Her Babuji's treatment would be done at the best hospitals and most of all... perhaps she wouldn't have been at the mercy of someone as cruel as Arnav Singh Raizada.

The question that bothered at the end of all her turbulent thoughts was still... why? She never hurt Arnavji. She never did anything to deserve the humiliation she'd just faced. They all blamed her. She wondered if even Naniji and Anjaliji thought of her like Mamiji did. A gold-digger. 

Some part of her wondered if her Amma and Babuji also thought of her as such. Payal was at least Babuji's biological daughter. She was just a niece they had taken in, and at every turn she had ruined Payal's important moments. As for what Payal thought, she could not even imagine. Her own sister must hate her. The one consolation was that at least now, Payal was married. She could leave Khushi behind in the past and live a happy life with Akashji. 

Inside the room he was working on his laptop and berating Aman through his bluetooth.

"I need to talk to you," Khushi said.

He ignored her. She walked up to him and folded his laptop shut.

"What do you think you're doing?" he yelled.

Khushi flinched. She remembered all the times he grabbed her wrist, her arms. He wasn't a gentle man. When she opened them he was ready to let loose another barrage of insults. She straightened up. That was all he could do - insult her. She'd received enough insults that night. Another few would hardly hurt.

"Why did you marry me?" she asked.

"I have work, Khushi Kumari Gupta. Get out," Arnav said.

"Answer my question and I'll go."

"Get out!" he yelled.

She shook with fear. So this was the true Arnav Singh Raizada. Not the man who brought her bangles or danced with her when she needed a partner. The poolside was cold, and her lehenga offered hardly any protection. She shivered until dawn, alone with her thoughts.

He was asleep when she entered the room to go to the washroom. How could a person sleep after creating such havoc? Khushi let out a dry laugh. Arnav could hardly be called a person. His laptop was still open, and a picture was on the screen.

Her and Shyam in Lakshmi Nagar. It was at one of the neighbors' wedding. She looked happy next to the disgusting man. She shut the laptop, unable to look at the picture any longer. It made her blood boil, thinking of how stupid and trusting she had been. Her hand froze on the surface of the laptop.

Arnav had seen it. He knew. She fell into the recliner, unable to process the new revelation. He knew about Shyam. Khushi knew Arnav. It felt strange to think of him like that, when he behaved with her like ASR again. Arnav acted on impulse. He acted first and thought later.

Everyone in Lakshmi Nagar thought she and Shyam had loved each other. The graffiti on the walls further spread the rumors. Buaji had even told all their neighbors of their engagement.

If Arnav had suspected something and enquired, she would look just as guilty as Shyam did. She visited their house. She regretted more than ever not coming clean about what Shyam had done to her and their family.

She finally knew what her marriage was. It wasn't havoc, it wasn't unexplained... it was revenge. She looked at the sleeping form of the man she'd dreamed up an entire future with and felt sick to her stomach.

Khushi knew what she had to do.