He is without a pack,
He is without a mate,
And he is without a wolf,
He is the sanctuary of brutality, a slaughter that waits for its turn.
He is Killian, the beast built with strength, power, and chaos that yearns for a reign, not of an Alpha, but...
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The moment I picked up on what was happening, I had allowed myself to shut down completely with only dread to accompany my thoughts.
During the several days of picking up symptom after symptom of pregnancy, I hid myself in the shelter of my own mind. And I was glad that Killian was not home often, as he found himself deeply engaged in matters that circled around the pack, which gave me the solitude that I desperately needed.
And I had spent the rest of my nights alone crying not for what was lost, but what was given to me.
Fear,
Anxiety,
Anger,
Such feelings were eating me up all at once, and I didn't know how to handle them.
The truth of what had become of me remained cramped into my head, haunting me to no end. And I had been trying to weigh my emotions that all but stayed scattered inside my head.
While without even a question, the wild that lived beneath my skin was quick to land a tenacious grip on a new found purpose,
A bearer of an heir.
Even the thought of it made me sick to the stomach.
I could feel the quick shift of her priorities, her willingness to lay the fullness of her protection to a pup that was all but a consequence of submitting to the illusion of nature. She was prepared to fight wars for it,
Even if it was a losing battle.
And while my wolf reveled in carrying a future, I was stuck struggling to find the acceptance for it.
I wanted to reject it, it was so easy to halt its chance at life and stop the chaos the lies ahead.
But even if I wanted to, I simply couldn't, and it was because my wolf would undoubtedly go against me, her devotion to the pup going as far as defying her very own skin.
"Valerie," Killian's soothing voice pushed through my thoughts, putting my troubles to cease as he settled a warm hand on my back. My eyes lifted to see the long table we were seated in and was immediately greeted by the sight of werewolves gathered together for the weekly feast.
Wary glances were being thrown my way, and my lips twitched with the urge to snarl at the wandering eyes that seemed to only wait for me to do more wrong.
I despised how it felt to be caged in their judgment.
"Something wrong?" Killian questioned, lowering his head to try and catch my gaze. I ripped my eyes away from the pack members that were too busy enjoying their meal and regarded the Alpha beside me.
Looking up close, Killian's features harbored his concern. His full lips were downturned and his eyebrows pulled together as he made an effort to see through the mental barrier that I had built for the purpose of separating myself from his prying mind; I was thankful that he didn't seem to know that I had been blocking him these past few days.
