Five Steps Into Your Heart [Nouis]

.04

C H A P T E R F O U R
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Niall often spends his mornings in bed, his face towards the white, blurry ceiling as he wonders what people with sight dream about when they fall asleep. He knows for a fact they see darkness when they allow their eyelashes to meet their cheeks as they await slumber, but he wants to know what they see when their souls are finally set free to mingle with imagination. Do people with sight have dreams that look similar to what they see with their own eyes on a day-to-day basis, or do they experience what Niall does?

Niall likes to imagine that, when everyone closes their eyes, they are just like him. He imagines them being vulnerable to the world, unable to see or make sense of anything around them. They lie in bed, trembling as they experience flashes of light and very vague examples of color. They try to picture natural things, but to no avail. When the eyes are closed, the mind is almost broken; it can no longer recall memories or generate visions of familiar blurs or pigments. Everything is assumed to be black, even though black is unknown to the mind. Nothing has ever been seen or processed when the eyelids are closed.

That is what Niall sees, at least.

He has never questioned Harry about the subject because he is afraid of what he will hear. He is afraid that, no matter how hard he wishes that it is not true, his disability sets him apart from other people in every possible situation. Niall fears knowing that people with eyesight see more than he does, even when their eyes are closed.

Today, however, he is extra curious, and he wants to know the truth.

Harry informs Niall that the brunette dreams about pretty much everything. Harry says he has dreamed about people he knows, movies he has seen, places he has been, and even random scenes that his brain fabricates from tiny pieces of everything that Harry has ever learned and experienced. He dreams of every color, every shape, and also very intricate details that even cameras cannot capture quite as well as the naked eye.

Niall listens on as Harry recalls certain funny dreams he has had, but his mind is drifting to wishful thoughts. As Harry's fingers move slowly over his back, Niall is in a sort of trance, trying to grasp the idea of seeing things that he has felt before. He wishes he could lay eyes on the so-called blue waves that have passed through his fingers on his beach vacations. He yearns to pluck the tiny emerald blades of grass from the earth that have tickled his feet on warm, summer afternoons. And suddenly he desperately needs to see the sky's marble clouds as they provide a shield from the sun, enabling Niall to open his sensitive eyes and observe the faint glow of the giant star.

Then Niall begins to think about Louis, and how he was probably a very pretty sight to see. He can still feel the softness of Louis's hands, gentle but firm on his back, his fingers thrumming a little due to his nervousness. Niall can even still hear his breath; it was mostly calm, but with a slight stutter anytime Niall directed any overly friendly comment at him. The blond surprisingly still smells Louis as if he is in the same room. He smelled faintly of citrus, which Niall assumes was his shampoo because he had cologne on that smelled a bit like sandalwood, which complimented his spearmint breath perfectly.

Louis felt beautiful to Niall, which is enough for the blond.

Niall rarely ever thinks about seeing people, so he is not sure why Louis has him so stumped. He has wondered what his own self looks like a couple of times, and of course what his best friend Harry looks like, but he has never been too interested in seeing other people. Niall has always been a loner, and he has plenty of insecurities without being able to see imperfections. He knows that a ton of people struggle with self esteem issues due to certain facial features they have, and he does not wish to see what those certain facial features are, in fear he may also have them. He likes to think that is his one advantage; he cannot hate the way that he looks because he cannot see himself.