GOLDEN DAYS - BRENDON URIE

nine

"keep it together, lilly" she said to me, her voice laced with venom as she grabbed my arm. i was only nine.

"mommy, why do i have to do this?" i asked her, nervously playing with my thumbs.

"because if you're my daughter, you're a dancer." she said angrily, fixing my costume. it was a beautiful costume, considering she spent all my dads child support on my dancing.

"go perform. don't disappoint me, lillian" she said.

"up next with a ballet solo is lillian" the judge said, my mom shoving me on the stage.

i leaped, turned, smiled, i did it all.

later that day when they announced a winner, it was me.

i walked off the stage, i remember being proud.

as i smiled and showed my mom the trophy she only snubbed me.

"i saw errors. back to practicing bright and early tomorrow"

i shut up, my whole body shaking from the dream i had. it wasn't even a dream, but an exact memory from my childhood in scary good gory detail.

the time was 6:00 am, cali couldn't be awake.

but what about brendon?

i slipped out of bed, tip toeing down my hallway to find brendon.

he was asleep on my floor, his back pressed up against my couch. it was evident that he fell asleep watching my window, his feet still wearing his bright red converse.

"come on" i said, trying my best to lift him up. he was a heavy guy, surprisingly. i managed to get a grip around his chest, somehow dragging him to my room. he was still knocked out, asleep.

in my room i finally placed half his body on my bed, breaking a sweat as i lifted his long legs onto the bed afterwards.

he slept soundly, sprawled out across my bed. i grabbed my white blanket and gingerly covered him with it, taking off his snapback hat and placing it on my nightstand.

i looked at the man for a second.

can you imagine if a guy like him would ever go for someone like me? i sure couldn't. he probably had a girlfriend, someone who probably was 6 feet tall with bleach blond hair and a huge chest.

i hated the idea of him in a relationship.

i mentally scolded myself, throwing on a sweatshirt and walking to my kitchen after shutting my door.

i began making chocolate chip pancakes, cali soon running into the kitchen, bright and awake.

it was tuesday, and it was probably around the time brendon had to get up and go to work.

"go get dressed okay?" i said to cali as she finished her pancakes.

cali left the room, leaving me alone. i got up, walking to my room. brendon was still asleep, and as much as it broke my heart, i had to wake him up.

"brendon?" i said quietly, my hand on his shoulder.

he slowly began to wake up, rubbing his eyes. i noticed the ring he always wore. he looked absolutely exhausted, his hair trashed.

"i'm so sorry, i'll get going" he said, beginning to sit up. i eased him back down, "you're fine, go back to sleep" i said.

"i have to get to the school, i have work" he mumbled tiredly.

"where's your phone?" i asked him. he pointed to his ass, insinuating it was in the butt pocket of his joggers. rolling my eyes, i grabbed it.

"wow she's touchin' my butt" he said, laughing as he was half awake.

i unlocked his phone (passcode? 1234. typical.) and began scrolling through his contacts. i came across one labeled "WORK WORK WORK" and assumed this was it.

it rang 4 times before a woman answered.

"hello?"

"hi, this is brendon's roommate. is there any way you could hire a substitute teacher? he's oh so sick"