Escape // l.h

.2

“Picture this,” Ashton sat down on the stool in front of my desk and pulled the pencil out from behind his ear. He subconsciously began tapping out a small beat on the edge of my desk, something he was known for doing a lot. I often wondered why he got into this instead of a band. “You, me and two or three other guys go out to Mexico and come back on the ship, ya know, just to make sure everything goes right.”

I put my pen down on the desk and turned until I met his hazel eyes. “Ash, where do you think we’re going to get the money to pay for our way down there?”

“Do you think Castillo would lend us a hand?” The boy looked at me with disappointment, already knowing what the answer would be.

I chuckled, “Come on man, Castillo wants to get the money, not hand it out.”

He sighed, “You’re right.” He looked down at the floor. “Hey, how much of that money from the other day did he let you keep?”

I let out a deep breath and shrugged my shoulders. “Not enough.”

“Figures,” He nodded. “Did you give it to your mama?”

I picked my pen back up off the desk and began to write out numbers on my note pad. I shook my head, “No, I took it right to the store and bought us some food.” I circled the $100 that I wrote down and looked back up at Ashton. “I hate lying to her man, she still thinks I work at the food store and the sad thing is, she’s too ill to go and see if I really do. It makes me feel sick.”

“You’re doing what you need to do, Luke.” Ashton rested his head in his hand.

“4 years… I have been lying to her for 4 years. Is it wrong that sometimes I wish she wasn’t here so it would be easier for me? I mean, I feel like if I didn’t have to lie then I wouldn’t feel this guilty all the time.” I ran my fingers through my blonde hair and met his gaze.

“She’s your mom, dude.” He shook his head.

I looked down at my hands and began to play with my thumbs, “When I was in school, and my dad was still alive, mama used to come into my room after they had gotten into a fight. She would sit on my bed and tell me all about how when I turned 18, we were leaving this town and my dad behind. Then she would make some witty joke about how proud she was because I got an A on my math test, and she would tell me how proud she would always be of me.” I felt the water flood up into my eyes, but I held it back. “Now here I am. I’m 18 and still in this town. My mom said she would always be proud of me, but I have nothing to show for it. Once mama’s gone, what do I honestly have to live for, man?”

Ashton nodded lightly, “I get it.”

“Do you?” I questioned. “I mean, I honestly don’t even know why you got into this. You have a happy family, both of your parents are alive and healthy, your dad makes so much money that your mom doesn’t even have to work, your sister is in college out in California, and your mom just had a new baby. Do you honestly understand?” We both looked at each other in disbelief. I never intended to say that to him. “I’m… I’m sorry man.”