Seeing Things

Chapter 1

I opened my eyes to nothing but darkness. Where was I?

"Liam?" I shouted. My voice echoed and echoed until I was sick of hearing it, so I clamped my hands over my ears until it subsided. I tried to look around, seeing only black. Why was it so dark here? Maybe I had gone blind. There had to be something... I stood up and held my hands out in front of me, swinging them around and hitting nothing, which was almost more scary than hitting something. You'd think my eyes would've adjusted by then, but it was still pitch black. Suddenly, a terrifying thought dawned on me; maybe that was because there was nothing to adjust to. I finally concluded I was in an endless, empty box when a loud crash came from my right.

"Liam?" I asked quietly as loud footsteps got closer and closer to where I stood.

A white, cloudy figure appeared right where I had heard the crash, and touched my shoulder gently. I screamed and backed up, but I ran into another one of them.

"Come here, Clary," a loud voice shouted, causing me to clamp my hands over my ears a second time and screw my eyes shut. But it still echoed, and echoed, until I thought I might go insane. Louder and louder...

• ------ •

"Clary," Liam mumbled in his sleep again next to me in the bed. I sat up extremely fast, making my head spin. With a start I realized that I could see again. It wasn't dark! I hugged myself lightly, trying to warm up, to find that I was sweating or something. I withdrew my hand from my arms to find blood. I walked into the bathroom and saw that, during my nightmare, I had scratched my arms raw. It didn't happen very often, but I had scars to prove that it had happened before. I grabbed a towel and quietly shut the door, trying not to wake Liam up. To me this wasn't a big deal, but Liam would totally freak if he saw me this way. I rummaged around in Liam's side of the cabinet until I found some peroxide and I poured a small amount on the cloth. I rubbed it on my arms gently, wincing and hissing as my skin felt like it was being dunked in acid. The liquid bubbled until the wounds we're clean, and then I bandaged my torn-up limbs. I took some light gauze and placed it over my scratches, almost laughing when I realized I probably looked like a mummy. I slipped back into bed with Liam, who, when I curled up into his chest, pulled me closer subconsciously. I drifted back into sleep, the dull sting of the fresh cuts at the back of my mind.

• ------ •

I woke up and rolled over towards Liam, only to find his side of the bed was empty. I forced my eyes open to an empty room. I glanced at the clock- 6:30 AM. Where was Liam? I pulled the comforter off of me, making the torn-up skin on my arms ache. I touched my left arm and realized to my dismay that the bandages were gone. I strolled into the kitchen and found Liam staring out of the window, his head in his hands.

"Morning, Li," I said cautiously. He jumped a bit but otherwise stood unmoving.

"It happened again, didn't it?"

"What?" I asked, trying to sound oblivious.

"The nightmares. And I wasn't there to help you." he mumbled, laying his hands on his head and pulling at his unkempt hair. I wrapped my arms around his torso, feeling how tense he was.

"Liam," I sighed, "It's not your fault. I can handle myself. It's not like it hasn't happened before, and I just didn't want to wake you. Hell, you're going on tour in less than two months. You won't always be here for me. I'm not completely helpless, you know," I teased.

He sighed and I saw a hint of a smile on his face.

It always hurt to talk about him going on tour. Whenever he left, the nightmares were so much worse, and I felt like I was going crazy until he came home. I wouldn't ever tell him that, though. Why jeopardize his whole career just because of my stupid self? So I've never told him. Acting like I was fine and calling and skyping him frequently made him think I was okay, which was a good thing.

He turned around and picked me up in a giant bear hug, making me squeal in surprise. He placed his hand under my chin and kissed me gently, making me smile. He pulled away and I opened my eyes to find him smiling at me. I gave him a small smile and cherished the moment.

"You're adorable, you know that?" He laughed, making me blush. While I watched him turn around to pick up his phone that he'd left on the kitchen counter, I saw something flash in the corner of my left eye. I whipped my head around to find the same cloudy figure from my dream dart into the pantry, disappearing from my sight.

"Clary, are you okay? You're face is really pale," He said, looking at me with concern. I laughed shakily and nodded, letting him snake an arm around my waist and lead me over to the sofa.

That's another thing that happened a lot when Liam was gone. I would see things. Yes, I know it sounds crazy, but I can't help it. Sometimes they seem real, and sometimes it registers in my brain that I'm imagining them. It's bizarre, but that's another thing I haven't mentioned to Liam. It would only worry him further, and that's the last thing I want.

We watched The Little Mermaid and The Outsiders, two of my favorite movies. I was snuggled into Liam's side, and I kept seeing him sneak worried glances at my arms. I finally folded them and looked at him, raising one eyebrow.

"Sorry," He said, sighing, "I can't help it. I just feel so awful that you have to go through that so often. I wish I could do something." I nodded and hugged his waist tighter.

"Yeah. Me too," I mumbled, closing my eyes and drifting into sleep right at the part in the movie when Ponyboy and Johnny were running away, making me think about how I wished I could just run away from my problems like that. But it wasn't that easy. My problems would follow me no matter where I went. They always had.