Seeing Things

Chapter 2

-Liam's POV-

I watched Clary as her eyes shut and her breathing finally evened I sighed in relief. She usually had trouble going to sleep when it was this late. In fact, she hadn't been able to sleep very well for the past few weeks because of the nightmares. She had them more often when she went to sleep late, and sometimes she would intentionally stay up as long as she could so she wouldn't have to face the alternate world her mind created to torture her.

I was naturally extremely protective over her, even back when we were only friends. She was so sad all the time now. I still remember when she was always laughing and had a certain glimmer in her eyes when she smiled. And I still remember the day it all dissapeared.

It was a cold night, and we were both sitting on the couch with a movie on the TV that neither of us were watching. As the movie blared on, I heard her get up and walk into the kitchen so I followed her, thinking she was getting something to drink. I shuffled my slippers along the tile floor, my eyes drooping from the lack of sleep. I stepped into the kitchen to find Clary curled up in a corner, rocking herself back and forth.

"Clary?" I whispered, frantically searching the kitchen on instinct. "What are you doing?" She clamped her hands over her ears and I noticed the tears staining her cheeks. I panicked and tried to pick her up and bring her to the car when she finally looked at me. She gasped and pushed out of my arms, backing up to the wall with wide eyes. She looked terrified, but of what?

"Clary, listen to me. It's Liam, baby. You have to tell me whats wrong or I cant help you," I watched her process who I was and when it finally clicked she whispered,

"Liam?"

I sighed shakily, walking over to her. "Yeah Clary, it's Liam. Everything's okay," I said, and she threw herself into my arms, sobbing. I grasped her as close as our bodies would allow and started to carry her to the car.
She looked up when she heard the garage open and squealed, trying to wriggle out of my arms.

"No! Liam, don't make me go to the hospital. I'm fine, I promise!" She yelled, her voice hoarse. I stopped and turned her head to look at me.

"Clary, you're not acting fine," I whispered.

"Let's just go back inside. I'm fine, really," she said shakily, still looking like she couldn't completely trust that I was myself. I watched her chestnut hair dance in the cold October wind, making her look like she was in a movie. But she wasn't, and all of this was real.

After a little while I nodded and carried her back inside, laying her on the couch. She gave me a weak smile and I leaned in to kiss her forehead.

"Promise you'll tell me if you feel anything less than okay?" I mumbled against her skin. She nodded slightly and sighed. I slowly drew away from her forehead.

"So," I started, sitting down on the couch, "what was that?"

I watched as her eyes flashed with fear. I couldn't tell if it was fear from whatever she had seen or fear of me finding out. My brow creased as she stared at the blank T.V. screen.

"I don't know. I saw... something," I heard her whisper.

"What kind of something?"

"I don't know. I don't want to talk about it, Li." She curled into a ball, holding her knees and tensing up.

"Babe, we have to. I need to know so I can make sure you're okay," I said, rubbing her shoulder.

She glared up at me and ripped her shoulder from my hand. "I'm not crazy," she snapped. My eyes widened and I shook my head frantically.

"I never said you were crazy. I just want you to be okay," I whispered, cautiously reaching over to hold her hand.

She sighed, turning back towards me.

"Why? Why do you care if I'm okay?"

"Because I love you."

She laughed sarcastically, looking away from me.

I cupped her cheek in my hand and turned her head to face me again.

"Listen to me. I love you. I love you more than you'll ever be able to comprehend. I need you to believe that," I whispered, our faces moving closer and closer together. Her breaths ghosted past my lips, our faces centimeters apart. I smiled slightly and leaned in to close the gap. Our lips moved in perfect synchronization, slowly and carefully. In that moment, it wasn't about the kiss at all. It was showing her, instead of just telling her, how much I really loved her. The kiss finally broke, both of us gasping for air with our foreheads pressed together. When I finally opened my eyes I found she was staring at me, a small smile on her face.

"You're so beautiful," she whispered. My face went hot; she giggled.

"I didn't mean to embarrass you, but it's true. Guys can be beautiful too, you know. Maybe it's not in the same way as girls, but it's definitely possible. Guess how I know?" I raised one eyebrow, my smile mirroring hers.

"Because I have you sitting right in front of me, and you're the most beautiful of them all," She whispered, shutting her eyes and resting her head on my shoulder.

That was the first, and last time she had a psychotic episode that bad in front of me. She still doesn't remember it, no matter how many times I ask her about it. I know she has bad anxiety, so I've always blamed it on that, but sometimes I wonder if there's more to it. I still occasionally find her staring into space or in her own world, but as soon as I call her name she goes back to normal. She hasn't been the same since that day. Always much sadder and not completely herself, but I love her just the same. When you really love someone, it doesn't matter what happens, you'll always be by their side.

I laid my head right next to hers, staring at her sleeping peacefully before closing my own eyes.