Jake Peralta imagines

April 1st

y/n - your name

y/n/n - your nickname

y/s/n - your surname

y/f/n - your full name

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I wake up to the sound of my alarm. Wait, my alarm? I don't use an alarm. Why is my-- Jake. It's April 1st. One of the few holidays that Jake likes and partakes in.

"Rise and shine, sunshine. We have a long day planned! We're going to prank all of my co-workers!" an excited Jake Peralta says from beside me.

"Even Rosa?" I ask, smirking.

"Are you insane? Of course not Rosa. I'd be dead in 2 seconds flat."

"Mhm, and how long have you been awake, exactly?"

"2 hours."

"Babe."

"Yeah?"

"It's 3am. You've been up since 1?!"

"... maybe. Now get up, please. I'll make you breakfast." After hearing this, I shoot out of bed, taking it more as a threat since you shouldn't even trust Jake with cereal.

"No, I got it. Don't go near food. At all. And if you really want to prank your co-workers, I have a few ideas."

"Ooh, pray tell."

"Na ah ah. Get your own pranks."

"It's on, y/s/n. But can you give me one? Please?"

"Fine. Replace the cream in the oreos with toothpaste."

"That's an amazing idea. Now do we have any oreos?"

"Cupboard in the corner," I mumble tiredly.

"Thanks." He opens the cupboard and fake snakes jump out. He squeals like a 4 year old girl and jumps back in terror.

"Happy April fools day, bitch."

"I'm gonna get you so good, y/s/n."

"I'd like to see you try. In high school I was voted ruler of pranks."

"Is bad that that turned me on a bit?"

"You tell me," I whisper seductively, in order to get a reaction out of him. I then leave, my now ready bowl of cereal in my hand.

"Sometimes I hate you, y/n."

"No you don't."

"You're right, I don't."

"That's what I thought." Jake tries to sit next to me but I stop him. "You can't sit with us."

"Actually, Megan, I can't sit anywhere. I have hemroids."

"Did you just--"

"Yup."

"No sex for you for the next year then."

"What. No."

"Then take it back."

"Fine. I take it back." As he says that, I get a text. "Who's that?"

"My friend, Kane. He lives in England so he's like 5 hours ahead of us."

"Prove it." I roll my eyes but show him anyway. It's a good thing I planned this.

"Hey y/n, I know it's early there but I just wanted to say, text me when you can. I need to ask you something urgent. It's about Linda," he reads. "Who's Linda?"