Understanding II: School Daze (Bleach Fanfic)

Grounding Heart

Hitsugaya Toshiro honestly couldn't remember the last time he simply was allowed to be a child, to have a calming environment to settle racked nerves that seemed to be common territory when it came to being a child genius. Everyone expected you to act like the perfect little adult. At least that was the way it always seemed to him.

With Isshin though, there was that piece of mind where he felt that he could simply be himself. Actually, that never had seemed to be the right words due to the fact that Toshiro honestly never found himself knowing who he was. He simply kept living up to other people's expectations.

While the old man had his expectations of Toshiro he had always made it clear that it was all right to mess up. Messing up wasn't something though a captain of the Gotei Thirteen could afford to do very often. Thinking upon that factor he wondered if that was why he had broken down like he had.

If so, should he have ever have become a captain? He felt as of late that he honestly hadn't been ready to take up the position. It felt like it was too much of a job and it honestly didn't help that Rangiku never took the time to do up her share of the paperwork around their division.

Hitsugaya felt too as if he depended too much on others, but around Isshin he had that feeling as if he could depend on the man and it didn't matter if he leaned too much. The only reason he found himself not wanting to was due to the fact he knew how much stress having someone lean on you would cause.

Toshiro also couldn't help but notice the fact that the orange haired teen was much like his father. It was as if Ichigo felt he could hold the whole world on his shoulders, not bothering to think about the consequences of what would eventually be sacrificed if one did so.

At that, the small taicho set down his spoon having finished his icy treat. His mind was still trying to think things through when Isshin simply picked up the dishes and carried them to the bin. Hitsugaya followed in step knowing that he could ask questions and the man would answer to the best of his ability. It had always been that way.

However, the cold hard truth was the fact that as his leave of absence progressed, the white haired child found even more that he didn't know how to ask the questions, even if he felt comfortable asking them. He had been living otherwise for so long that breaking away was hard.

They arrived back at the house and Isshin spoke up. "Toshiro, I'll be in the clinic if you need me. Go ahead and head up to my son's room. No one is supposed to be home for quite a few hours, so feel free to yell, scream and cry to your hearts content if that is the way you are feeling. Or, if you are into reading a good book, pick up one of my sons books."

Hitsugaya simply nodded his head and then headed up the stairs to the bedroom, collapsing onto the bed and pulling a pillow over his head. In some ways, he honestly did feel like he needed to cry, but he also felt numb due to the multitude of thoughts flowing through his head.

Not to mention he was still tired from staying up the night before to finish the school work that had been assigned for the summer break. He found himself drifting off into a deep sleep, feeling that drool was creeping from his mouth onto the pillow, when he suddenly felt a movement on the bed.

He then felt something heavy fall over him and heard the sound of a body falling onto the floor next to him. At that moment, he pried the pillow from his face and looked up at the ceiling, simply staring. As Kurosaki Ichigo got up, his eyes turned to look at the physically older male with a look of surprise.

"Toshiro! What the hell are you doing here?" The substitute shinigami seemed quite irate, but the small preteen found himself brushing the whole thing off.

"Question is, what are you doing here?" The child's voice remained emotionless as his face lost the surprised look. He watched as the orange haired teen's face twisted in anger.

"You're supposed to be in school. I went looking for you so that I could borrow your soul phone." Ichigo shook his head at the young one.

At that, Toshiro piped up. "Why would you need that for?"

"So I can track down hollows and not have this idiot following me around." The younger Kurosaki male hiked his finger at the window where the Quincy was perched.

"I don't know about you, but you're the one who looks more like an idiot right now." A small hand reached up to scratch his head.

"You know Toshiro, you are a major pain in the butt, yet you probably already know that." Ichigo sat down on the bed. "Why are you here and not in class?"

"Because I got into a fight on the first day right before I could even get into class."

At that, the substitute shinigami's mouth dropped open. He then continued to glare at the small shinigami. "I've got to get back to class, but when I get back, I will have a word with you about this."

"Reality check here, Kurosaki Ichigo. You are not my boss." Toshiro spat out suddenly.

However, the small shinigami found himself grabbed by Ichigo roughly and found his bright teal eyes staring into two irate brown ones. "Soul society put me in charge of taking care of you. If you don't understand that much, you honestly need to grow up."

The small shinigami pulled away at this point, his cheeks flushing. "So what? One minute I am having people asking me to act my age, and other times not."

"That doesn't mean you should get into a fight to prove that you are childish!" Ichigo snapped out. "It goes without saying that isn't what everyone means. That should go without saying."

"It doesn't for me." Toshiro's words snapped out again.

At that, the substitute shinigami shook his head. "I have to get back to school. I will be talking to you when I get home."