"I...I just don't understand." I say, in astonishment.
"Ian...you have to understand that your parents do love you very much-"
"But YOU'RE my parents! YOU'RE My mom! YOU'RE my dad! Stop lying this isn't funny!" I say, with tears in my eyes.
"We love you Ian.." My, well, 'dad,' cuts in, "But we thought now you're old enough to know...they were just to young to raise a baby..:
"NO! If this is true you should have told me sooner!"
"Ian please calm down.."
"No! This isn't funny! Tell me you're joking! PLEASE!"
They stay silent for awhile.
I am giving them an angry glare.
"Well?!"
"We're not kidding. Ian honey-"
"I don't even know you!" I yell, as I run out of the room and slam the door.
How could this be happening?
My 'parents'.....
Aren't even my parents?....
What the actual fuck!
If they really loved me they'd tell me since I was little!
Instead of allowing me to live a lie!
I just don't get it!
I hear someone knock at the door.
"Go away!" I yell, in complete anger and betrayal.
"Ian...honey please..."
It's my fake mom.
"Just please let me explain.." She says softly.
Her soft voice is making me even more angry.
That soft voice is the mothering voice that always calmed me down.
Now it just boils my blood more.
It only reminds me of all the lies she has told me.
"Ian..i'm coming in.." She says gently.
I burry my head into my pillow.
And try to contain my angerness....going through my veins.
I've never felt more betrayed.
I take some deep breathes as she comes closer and sits down next to me on my bed.
I am so angry..I've never felt an anger like this before.
I have so many questions..I don't even know where to start.
"Ian I understand why you feel we should've told you sooner, but your birth parents made us promise not to tell you I couldn't..I couldn't break my promise." She says, as she rubs circles on my back, trying to comfort me.
It doesn't help.
It would've if I knew she was actually my mother.
But now I feel like I'm near a pathological liar.
But thankfully my anger is a little more contained now.
I lift my face out of my pillow..and sit upright.
"I just...I have so much to ask...and I don't even know where to begin."
"I understand..it's a lot to take in. Just...just breathe honey." She says, trying to comfort me.
I hide my anger, nod slowly and take a deep breathe.
I am trying to think of what I'm about to ask before I ask it.
"Well I...uh....where are they?.."
She looks down.
"I couldn't tell you sweetie. Last time we even saw them was when you were born.." She explains.
I nod, "So, they just don't even care about me?" I ask.
She looks up immediately and shakes her head, "Ian no not at all. They were 16 when they had you they...they didn't know what to do. Giving you up was very hard for them...believe me they were in tears. But they knew it was best for you."
"So, what about my sister? Was she adopted?" I ask.
"No, she's not adopted."
I nod.
"Well, I mean, I have to meet them." I say.
She shakes her head, "Ian I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why the hell not??"
"Ian I think that would be to much for them I...they would be mad at me if they knew i told you..you..you can't-"
I stand up, "So you go out of your way to tell me that you're not even my REAL PARENTS, and you expect me to not want to meet them!? Well I'm sorry if this wasn't your plan but you're not stopping me from looking for them!"
My fake dad runs into the room, "Ian please-"
"You're not stopping me, you can't control what I do anymore! You're not even my real parents! I'll be back soon!" I yell, as I grab my car keys and run into my car, starting the engine immediately and driving out onto the road.
I'll be damned if I can't even meet my own parents.
First stop...my real parents.
Well actually.
First stop...gas.
