You again? /Trixya\

5 | Guitar

TRIGGER WARNING: abuse // homophobia

Katya's POV

'I owe you an explanation. Meet me behind the bike sheds, where we met.'
Trixie hangs up before I can respond. I think this is good, I don't know though, let's hope so.
Well I guess I have no choice but to go, hopefully I can fix this. I head down to the bike sheds and round the corner to see Trixie standing with her back to the wall, her blonde hair blowing in the breeze. She looks so beautiful, I can tell she's anxious though, she keeps fidgeting with the hem of her skirt like she does whenever I'm around.
"Trixie." I say, She gasps and turns to me, her eyes are sad and worried.
"Katya I-" She stutters, I step closer and take her hands in mine.
"Hey, It's okay. Talk to me." I say. She screws her eyes shut nervously.
"I uh, my last relationship with this girl Naomi - She fucked me up pretty bad, I haven't been able to trust anyone since what she did... It was a couple months ago and you're the first person I've felt anything for since her." She tells me slowly. Fuck I didn't know about that...
"I'm sorry-" She begins.
"No, Trixie don't be sorry, I understand. But trust me when I tell you I will never hurt you, I promise I will always protect you and keep you safe, if uh- you agree" I say, she looks at me confusedly.
"Agree to what...?" She asks slowly.
"ty budesh' moyey devushkoy?" I ask, she smiles a little although she doesn't understand what I asked.
"Will you be my girlfriend?" I ask again in English, she stares at me for a moment.
"Katya-" She begins, I brace for impact, maybe I misjudged this...
"I need time to think, It's not that I don't want to - trust me, I do. But I think I might just need some time. But this isn't a no okay?" She tells me slowly, I sigh.
"Yeah I- of course..." I reply, I don't deal well with rejection but I need to keep it together.
"Okay- That's okay, I want you to be safe and as comfortable as possible, whatever that means" I reply, she smiles in relief and takes my hands in hers.
"I said I'd meet Adore later, I'll see you tomorrow?" I say, I just need to get out of here honestly.
"O-Okay, yeah I'll see you-" She replies, She can probably tell something's off. I walk away quickly and sigh, I'm pretty sure I fucked up... I take my phone out and start texting Adore.

I need to see you now -K
Are you okay? -A
Not really, I'll explain -K
See you soon, Love you -A

I walk down to the park and push the gate open, Adore is sitting on a picnic table.
She hops down and I run over, throwing my arms around her in a hug, she rubs my back and I burrow my face into her shoulder, trying to keep the tears back.
"Woah what's going on?" She asks.
"I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said she needs time..." I sniffle.
"Oh honey, are you okay?" She asks, pulling out of our hug.
"Yeah I'm just- She said it wasn't a no but... It pretty much seemed like a no." I say, Adore sighs sadly and hugs me again, she rubs my back reassuringly.
"I thought it was a sure thing, guess I was wrong. Whatever, I'll be okay. Plenty of other girls" I sigh, Adore's shoulders sag sadly and she opens a pack of cigarettes, handing one to me.
"I'm sorry Katya..." She sighs, I force a smile and light the cigarette.
"I could have sworn it was meant to be, you two just seemed to-" Adore says, stopping herself when she notices the sad look on my face.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you" she says, I smile and shake my head.
"It's okay, now please let's talk about something other than the painful rejection from the girl of my dreams?" I joke, Adore laughs and takes a drag of my cigarette.

Trixie's POV
Katya practically runs off and I groan, I really fucked this up. Truthfully I wanted nothing more than to say yes and for her to kiss me right there but I'm so scared to get hurt, I can't risk it, even if I know she wouldn't dream of it.
Fuck, I really made a mistake.
My heart hurts and my body is tired, I just feel shitty, I can't even imagine how Katya might be feeling... I need to get all this out somewhere, I can't keep it all pent up. I need to write some music.
I head home, at least I won't be thinking about Katya there, I have bigger fish to fry when I get home, mostly putting up with my dad.
I take a deep breath before pushing the door to my house open slowly, hopefully dad won't hear me coming in.
I make my way upstairs quietly, when I'm on the landing I spot my dad lying on his bed, an empty bottle of drink set beside him. Well he's drunk but seems passed out, that's good.
I get into my room and throw my bag onto my bed, sighing in frustration.
I grab my guitar and start strumming mindlessly, praying my dad won't hear. Guitar is the best way to distract myself from any kinda stupid shit I do.
I hear footsteps on the landing and quickly stop playing, too late. My dad throws the door open and I stand up, crossing to the other side of my bed to put space between us.

"You woke me up" he slurs drunkenly, I sigh anxiously.
"That goddamn guitar" he grumbles.
"Dad I'm sorry I just-" I begin
"Don't start dyke. Where did I go wrong with you eh?" He tells me, a sharp pain hits my chest whenever he says that word, i try to stay neutral.
"That guitar..." He repeats under his breath, he glares at the instrument sitting on my bed.
"I'm sorry I'll keep it down" I say quickly, he scoffs, leaning over and grabbing the guitar.
"Dad what are you-" I begin.
"You're always playing this shit, does my fucking head in" he says.
"I'm sorry-"
"Shut the fuck UP" he yells, lifting the guitar by the neck and smashing it onto my bed frame, I scream.
"DAD! PLEASE STOP! NO!" I sob, he continues smashing it, pieces fall and splinter everywhere. I'm backed up against the wall as far way as I can get.
"Maybe now you'll learn to keep quiet." He spits, turning and leaving my room.
I press my hands into my face and sob into them, I can feel my legs starting to give out so I begin to slide down the wall onto the floor.