Evelyn
April 4th, 2007
It was a cold evening, rain falling on all sides of the city, fragile frost coating the grass. Droplets coat my window, running down in twisty patterns. I pull up the sleeves of my jumper, and test my coffee tentatively, the heat spreading through my body. Relaxed, I gently closed my eyes, let the stress melt from my shoulders and my feet sank into the woollen carpet. For all of two seconds, I was at peace.
'Oh my God, what are you still doing here? They are ordering take out and you are sat here on your ass, drinking coffee!' Carrie Laytree, the loudest woman I know, came bursting into the room, an array of shopping bags on each arm, and a key card between her teeth. In a haste, she dumped all the bags on one of the three overused beds we had to use. The tired bed groaned under the strain. She spat the key card onto the floor.
I replied softly,' Uhhh, I need this to stay alive, and how did you manage to go shopping in this weather?'
'Life finds a way,' she spat through gritted teeth as she fell onto the bed pulling off her heels.
'There is a party tonight, and you needed an outfit, since you didn't pack one thing suitable for that, I improvised,' she said, plopping down onto the bed already covered in bags.
'Hey! My clothes are nice!' I called out.
'Uh, but not for a party. And plus, all the hot pieces of the year will be there. Apparently about half of kids lose their v-card on this residential!' she practically squealed.
'Hold up, Carrie, we only just turned 16, and now you want to have sex?' I responded. She nodded vigorously. 'I'm done with being a virgin! That shit was so boring!'
I groaned and turned away.
'Come on, you are so boring to be friends with. And I just offered you free shoes! Who passed free shoes?' she whined, and I turned back.
'You were going to let me keep the shoes?'
'Duh.'
'That still doesn't change my mind.'
She sighed, exasperated, and flopped onto the bed.
'How long until you are convinced? There will be hot guys, alcohol, music, swimming and free food and sex! Possibly.'
I groaned. 'Not so into the sex, or the hot guys. But free food and alcohol? And shoes?'
She clapped her hands together excitedly.
'Fine,' I groaned.
'Yes!' she shouted.
With a loud click, the door swung open, and Marina walked in.
'Oh my God, Rina! Did you bring take out?' Carrie shouted.
'Yup! It's so good to see you, Eve, awake for the first time in 18 hours. Now, it's time to get ready and eat!' she said brightly. She swung her bag off her back and onto the bed, which groaned again. And she pulled out a box full of makeup and hair tools.
'Wanna get ready?'
We strolled into the party at 9.30 ish, all dressed up and ready to dance. Rina had curled my hair, and covered my face in makeup, and I was wearing a fancy dress chosen by Carrie (it showed a lot of cleavage, I was a bit uncomfortable) and heels, but somehow it all felt right.
We were walking by the pool, stars twinkling through the glass roof, and music blaring from a big amp one of the music kids had in storage, and nearly all of the teens in our year were dancing. Someone had apparently smuggled in several bottles of tequila, and were handing out tiny plastic shot glasses, as well as the stoner who lives down the road trying to sell drugs. All in all, it was definitely illegal. But damn, it felt good to let loose.
2 shots later, Carrie was already making out with some guy from the football team, and Rina was buying weed in a corner. Everyone was a little louder now, with a few drinks down nearly all of them, and almost all of the tequila drunk.
'We are down to our last bottle, folks! Who has fake ID? We need more alcohol!' slurred Alex, trying to stagger over to the girls. With a small giggle, they shuffled away, and he tripped on a shoelace.
'Suck it, Alex, ya got whatcha deserved,' one of them yelled over the roar of the bad music. The world seemed heightened, to glow around the edges, and despite the fact that the drink was cheap, the music was second best, and nothing was perfect, yet it seemed completely flawless in the moment. The stars. Nothing could be bad while they looked like that. Sparkling like diamonds from a distance. And maybe it was the drink. Or the adrenaline. But the way the world was lit from beneath the pool water, and couples dancing together with love in their eyes, nothing could spoil that moment.
'We should get in the pool!'
One of the jocks screamed, and many of the others joined in, stripping of layers of clothing and diving in.
Splashes echoed, my open eyes watching in wonder at the people, but I will never forget what it felt like when I saw her.
Sounds faded away, like I was on another world. Chatter became music. My eyes saw only one thing. A snapshot saved forever. Distorted by time, but still beautiful. Sara, the girl who all the boys chased. Eyes golden with starlight and floodlights. Mascara tears staining the skin, freckles dotted carefully and perfectly, an intricate portrait of a perfect person. Hair delicately framing her oval face, curls breaking free from a loose ponytail. And a soft smile, which could have killed me on the spot. And then it hit me. I was in love with a woman.
'Eve?' Someone was banging on the door. I tried my best to answer, but my voice caught in my throat. Tears, hot and hurried, rolled down my face. My stomach churned like a washing machine, as I sobbed into my hand, my face burning. I just wished I could say I feel freer than before, but I wish I was dead. Or back in time 2 days. I want to go back to before. 'Carrie, let's just go to my dorm.' A male voice from behind the door.
I let them fade away, as I zoomed out on this pathetic picture. Me, sat on a bed, my sequinned dress hidden by my sports team hoodie. Tears stained my face, and I couldn't stop thinking about Sara. Which was what I was angriest about. I was terrified, but I couldn't stop it. And I guess that was when I knew.
And also the most scared I have been in my life.
